Solitude Standing ,, open

[TABZ ?!]

"I'm rejecting my reflection, Cause I hate the way it judges me"

Soulless, that's what this place was. A building devoid of any mercy or understanding in the least, from basement to roof it was filled was so much misery, pain, and torture the air swam with the thickness of it all. Within first entering the doors four days ago she nearly had a panic attack, began fighting and screaming demanding to be taken away at once, that she did not belong here...yet it was all for nothing. Nurses and guards had rushed to greet her and the person escorting her only to jab a needle within tiny vein's expanse and inject a sedative to settle her. To drug her. To shut her the hell up.

Wide eyed and still panicked she couldn't believe it, this place was worse than the last, Lucid Manor made previous asylum seem like a playground and a safe haven. Here they treated patients like cattle herding them around, drugging them up and locking them away so they would not have to be dealt with. Once evaluated patients were then tagged with a class instead of a numbered tag upon their ear, and with luck she had been deemed medium risk.

Confused she sat numbly in front of doctors mute and shell shocked upon prior unwelcoming events. Within offices they had threatened her, one wrong move and she would be jumped to the high risk and that in itself was alien to her. Mind clouded with drugs that poured beneath skin's surface couldn't take it all in. It was horrible and unjust, everything they did within this place. She had heard the stories, the rumors and tales leaked through the grapevine and tainting her outlook upon this place like a dirty stain. And yet it all seemed to be true.

They would see her dead, she knew it. This would be her burial ground.

Now she traveled the hallways, they seemed to be the only areas that lacked many people or doctor's probing questions and eyes. They held her like a lover's silent embrace as her finger tips fell upon the wall's as if she were a small child frolicking within pasture full of daisies instead of a grown woman locked up in an institution. body carried her unknowingly while mind drifted in and out wondering how long she would last here, how long they would toy with her until they saw no use for her.

Four days she had been here, yet they lapsed into what seemed years already. The one doctor had it out for her more than the rest, his cold cruel gaze judged her with every flicker within pupil. She thought for sure he was going to leap over desk and puncture her jugular with the pen he tapped over and over upon surface within the first few minutes of her evaluation which kept her shivering like a small bunny within uncomfortable chair.

Will a small sigh echoing from her lungs and whisping from lips in a hushed whisper of carbon she glanced mutely at the doors flanking the hall she glided down. All were locked and secured which made her all the more wary, this was the high risk area. this is where the worst were set aside and left to rot it seemed, this is where they had threatened to send her.

Long lashes fell like lace upon cheeks while she felt anger boil between stretch of ribs and spread outward, she hated threats. She didn't like this area, she didn't belong there just as she did not belong at this place in general.

Steps once quiet and ghost like now halted while hands reached out to window frame upon right side of the hall. Upper torso curved slightly to lean in upon the darkened scenery the carpeted the earth just outside of panes. Mind shifted back to reality instead of jostling fears and absorbed the sight causing fingers to itch for charcoal and paper.

Tee-shirt clung neatly to frame while short sleep shorts bared long legs and bare feet to the world. A very uncommon thing when it came to her, usually she remained rather reserved with long shirts and sweaters with jeans, but she didn't have the time for them at that moment...

Technically she was supposed to be within confines of room right now but the irritating clicking of the clock had drove her from there and forced her to dodge guards and nurses who were all too busy at the moment to pin point her location or realize her slinking away. Her curiosity of the threats they had handed to her had gotten the better of her, as to where she had to see these halls, see the disturbing area they wanted her to reside in. Goosebumps creeped over flesh along with a spine jolting shivering sending muscles and tendons snapping to attention to try and ward off that unwanted feeling.

[Alec J. Anderson]

Anger. Rage. Hated. Resentment. Vengeance. Justification. Frustration. The words were similar. They piled on top of one another and created precarious meanings. One could say frustrated vengeance, justifiable hatred, resenting anger…but for all those words and phrases it only came down to one thing, Alec James Anderson. They defined him, defined his life style and state of mind. If one were so inclined, they could easily imagine the things he was capable of doing by just briefly viewing a few of the words the doctors had used to describe him on his admittance report.

But they had been weeks ago. Now, there was a something new filling up inside of Alec- one nearly as dangerous at the other emotions he was consisted of. During his time at Lucid Manor, his control had started to slack. There were outburst at nurses and doctors who got in his way to tried to ‘help’ him. Alec didn’t trust them, didn’t trust any of them. He was growing reckless, attacking them without a moment’s notice and with little provocation. One of the nurses, who’d recently been charged with him as a patient found out the hard way how dangerous he was when he’d nearly broken her neck with the sheer force of his hands on her throat, all because he’d over heard her talking about his file with another nurse.

Sedation was an occurrence he was growing used too. No one came near him anymore without them. His medication was known injected directly into his bloodstream, supposedly helping him to stay calm. There was nothing calm about the way it made his muscles lethargic or even how it hindered him from thinking properly. But the rage, the need to constrict something with his bare hands was increased every time they injected him. The lethargy kept him from acting on it though.

Alec didn’t want to go around and cause reasons for everyone to fear him; he didn’t want to hurt innocent people. Patients normally didn’t rub him the same way the doctors or nurses did which was the only reason he was allowed what freedoms he had- which wasn’t much. Even now, he’d snuck out of his room for a few moments of freedom and was walking aimlessly down the hallway, dodging the staff as he did so. There was nowhere to go, nowhere to turn. No matter how far he got, he would always be trapped in this place with these people.

Hard cold gaze searched out of the window as he walked down the hallway, not bothering to look in front of him. If a member of staff saw him, the scrubs he wore would immediately give away his position as a high profile patient. Alec came to a halt, catching sight of someone up ahead. It was a girl; she appeared to be a little younger then him. Dressed as she was, he was sure he was a patient but probably not high profile. Alec continued to watch her hesitantly. Instead of approaching her as a normal human being would have done, he stayed back and watched her- unwilling to disturb whatever thoughts plagued her mind.

TAGGED Haven
WORD COUNT 500-something.
NOTES bleh, hope its alright
LYRIC CREDIT 30 seconds to mars
IMAGE CREDIT creatingpulsars @ caution 2.0 and BRIT @ LM

[Haven L. Kraelis]

"I'm rejecting my reflection, Cause I hate the way it judges me"

The murmuring of nurses down the hall created a sort of lullaby as Haven stood within shadowed hallway, dusk had grabbed the world and was smothering it in darkness causing a looming effect within the confines of hallway. Pale pastel lights lined passageways which she supposed was supposed to be relaxing compared to the vibrancy of actual rooms but really it just created a cloak of hidden spots for her to sulk in and creep her out all at once. Eyes flickered to corners expecting a monster that goes bump in the night to reach out and grab her. Paranoid.

Eyes fixated themselves onto outside scenery, wishing it held some sort of secret as to how to live through this painful experience or just how to survive all together. The doctors her always tried to tell her no one was out to get her, she knew it was all lies though. They WOULD say that, they just wanted to seem friendly and helpful so she would trust them. THEN they would strike, torturing her and leaving her in ruins before completely killing her. Bastards, sick and demented people. The patients here weren't the ones that needed help, those doctors were. They were using this place as a farm, she and all those admitted nothing but cattle being led off to the slaughter. They couldn't hide it from her, she saw it. Meds wouldn't blind her like the rest.

Brow furrowed in a frown as she thought about it, the medications were just a scheme, most likely killing them slowly, destroying their nerves and breaking them down. A full blown panic errupted within her, crossing over her face and overflowing within the depths of her eyes. She needed to throw up, she needed to get those vile things out of her system! Anxiety tore its way up ur spine and nervous system as she spun around and slowly her legs gave out sending her sliding to the floor, the wall supporting her thankfully.

She didn't want to die, no more medications. No more. After tonight she would refuse to take them. Hide them, throw them away or even pawn them off on someone else. They weren't checking her urine to see if she was actually taking what they were giving her so she could get away with it. She would show them!

Slight hope rose in her, heart still hammering from her attack that she was coming down off of but before she could fully recover eyes rose to see another patient standing a little ways off watching her. She froze, like a scared rabbit eyes went wide and panic seized her once more. Rigid as could be she just stared, hoping if she was still enough he would think she was dead or completely loose interest. He was high risk, she saw it now. The scrubs, the medicated look on his face and all the indicators. They were trying to kill him too, and he was going to kill her! He knew her plan about no taking the meds! Oh shit, oh shit.

[OOC: Bleeehhhh. Sorry]

[Alec J. Anderson]

Alec didn’t move, watching her silently as her gaze slowly met his, recognition dawning on her features. Not of who he was, but what he is. The instantaneous look of fear, the same look a doe gives when it’s caught in the headlight of your car, knowing its life is about to end and is powerless to alter its fate. Instead of the blood splattering collision, he just continued to stand his ground and stare at her. Why not? The damage was already done right? She’d already seen him watching her.

Not that it was any sort of excuse to continue and brood in the poor girls direction. Alec’s face was cold and unchanging as he walked towards her, inching ever closer to the obviously terrified girl. Some one with a better mind then his would have spoken by now- said something to try and calm the other patient down. Even reassure her that she wasn’t in danger. Alec never made such promises, because in all honesty he never really believed they were true.

Now that he was closer he could really observe the terror on her face and it was a terror he recognized. The same look that captivated her eyes haunted him every night in his dreams, plagued him until he woke up screaming and thrashing about in a disoriented delusional panic. It only then he realized the error of not speaking.

“Alec.”

Slowly rising his hand, he pointed to himself. It wasn’t much, but it was more then he usually offered and was really all he could muster at that moment. It was a name and sometimes with a name came some sort of sense of familiarization. Or maybe it was just another dumb human custom that was bred into them, something they learned to need for the sake of civil exchange. The idea of apologizing for staring at her never crossed his thoughts as he shifted awkwardly, glancing down the hall for the sign of any staff. Eyes shifted to look at her once more, attempting to soften the features of his face a little but only resulting in an uncomfortable glance.

TAGGED Haven
WORD COUNT 356
NOTES they'll get better. =\
LYRIC CREDIT 30 seconds to mars
IMAGE CREDIT creatingpulsars @ caution 2.0 and BRIT @ LM

[Haven L. Kraelis]

"I'm rejecting my reflection, Cause I hate the way it judges me"

He was studying, lurking figure just sort of standing there for lone within the hallways, eyes placed on her but no real thoughts flickering that she could pick out and recognize. Confusion bloomed in a floral array across her own facade while she tucked her body within itself, watching him closely while anxiety hushed itself with some sort of distant lullaby no one could hear. Like two enemies they now just blankly eyes one another.

Slowly yet surely he inched toward her though, muscles tightening in a panic and ready to spring if the time came for it but nothing more. She had taken meds, the things were killing her but she had taken them today and they dulled her mildly. Kept her calm in there words for they didn't want her blowing up on anyone again. She wasn't a killer, she had killed but she would be damned if she was a killer. She couldn't help her explosions and nearly blacked out during them, fuck the doctors they didn't understand, they were the ones that needed to be locked away. They were killers.

One word stained the silence though, Alec. He pointed at himself and a slight moment of fury coiled within her veins and erupted from her glaring eyes. Did he think she was a god damned retard? The way he said one word and gestured to himself like she wouldn't understand. Muscles and tendons shifted suddenly as they would in a feline and she was on her feet, but before she could rip him a new one it dawned on her.

"Haven, your the one that gets in all sorts of trouble aren't you?"


[OOC: Bleeehhhh. Sorry]

[Alec J. Anderson]

There was nothing civil about this exchange in human contact that much became clear as he recoiled from her sudden movement- stepping back defensively. Alec assumed Haven was her name though; the way she jumped from it to the rest of her statement caused a trace of confusion to flicker into his face. It was gone almost as immediately as he stood his ground, face hardening at her sudden recognition with a nod.

“I’ve been in some trouble, yeah.”

Why was it that everyone in this damn place seemed to know who he was? Alec kept to himself and tried to leave people alone as much as possible. Sure, he had his outbreaks and confrontations and from the way everyone was responding to him- he had them more often then he realized. As soon as he felt the burning sense of anger pooling in his limbs, it seemed to be sucked out in a haze of lethargy and exhaustion. A growl worked its way up from his chest; annoyed with the medications they had him on.

Suddenly his face relaxed once more and he leaned back against the wall, staring at he opposite side of the hallway. Mind wrapped up in everything but the girl that was near him. If she screamed or made a lot of noise, it would alert the staff that they were over here. While they might not have done much to her for being outside of her bedroom, Alec would probably be facing more time in solitary confinement. Alec placed his hand on the windowsill and used his other to run through his hair- still glowering at the opposite wall. Socialization was not his strong point so if she screamed now- or ran rampantly down the hall shouting something about him trying to kill her, he’d be fucked. Dark eyes suddenly shifted to look back at her.

TAGGED Haven
WORD COUNT 3-something.
NOTES that was shitty. -_-
LYRIC CREDIT 30 seconds to mars
IMAGE CREDIT creatingpulsars @ caution 2.0 and BRIT @ LM