Bury yourself ;; Open

[mouse]

Her fingers trailed along the spines of the books as her short legs carried her along the rows upon rows of books. Jamie knew she wasn't supposed to be in here at the moment but the librarian didn't, so she was going to find herself something new to read. After finishing three books last week she hadn't been able to find anything good to read. Then again, the books they allowed into the library tended to be sappy love stories or stupid textbook-esque novels. She had done enough learning throughout her schooling years so Jamie certainly didn't want to read a book that was eight bajillion pages long on some scientific subject relating to a spec of dust. It was all senseless to her anyway, considering she wasn't going to college and she probably wasn't going to live a normal life. It was saddening but at the same time she didn't have to worry about bills or any bull like that.

Sighing as she came to a stop in front of the animal section, Jamie plucked a small book from the shelf to look at it. There was no title but when she opened it she realized it was a book on dogs. Great. Just what she didn't want to read, she was allergic to them after all. Throwing it back onto the shelf with little regard as to where it belonged on the shelf she found her way into the 'romance' novels section. They weren't exactly romance novels considering there wasn't any sex in them and they were all cheesy, kind of like the Laura MacDaniels books, or whatever her name was. All Jamie knew about her was that she wrote stupid teen romance books and someone always wound up dying in them or the person moved away or fell out of love with the main character. They were cheesy, sappy and all around stupid. Naturally she didn't find anything in that section so she meandered her way into the next aisle, finding the books about vampires.

Now here was her favorite section of them all. Anything and everything fantasy, but mainly vampires were her favorite. Her one doctor called her sadistic for her love of the mythological creatures but Jamie called it fascination. The whole idea of them just made her think more than any of the other book or material ever had. How they were supposedly dead but they had heart beats, how they could stop their breathing entirely or look like statues. It was absolute fascination...not sadistic love. Oh! There were new books in and she was happy to read them. It didn't even look like anyone had touched them yet so Jamie was definitely going to read them. They were Anne Rice novels, her favorite. Jamie hadn't been able to read them all when she was at home because of some issues but now that the library was slowly stocking them all to her delight. The Vampire Armand was the recent addition, and The Vampire Lestat, which she had started once before but had never finished it.

Jamie almost pranced out of the book aisle and to one of the tables, ignoring the look from the librarian. Jamie was ALWAYS in here, she was always reading and always checking books out. The librarian had commented once on how happy Jamie seemed when she found a new book to read and Jamie just shrugged her off. If she had walked up to the desk now the librarian would have said something but Jamie plopped her petite self into a chair, propped her feet up on the table and went to reading. At least with her nose buried in a book she wouldn't necessarily get caught by someone because they wouldn't see her...hopefully.

[Nicolette V. Gladieus]

"Make it quick Nikki, you know damned well your not allowed to be in here alone. You have till the end of my break so make it snappy."

With that Nicolette had gained her freedom for forty-five minutes, a pure blessing. She blew a kiss towards her guard before skipping away and darting within the library between its musky shelves of murdered trees. She didn't mind Dj, he was good to her for a guard and they had to spend five days a week together so why not make the best of it? The other two days a week were pure hell though because she got the old geezer of a guard who she couldn't sway no matter how hard she tried. He was just a piece of shit and really needed a punch in the jugular. Sure she was a high risk patient but she didn't need to be treated like a maggot or piece of garbage, she was a human being even if they all swore there was something wrong with her head. Screw that, she was just interesting and society liked to oppress that.

Bright eyes scanned the almost empty dwelling before she crushed up a pill and blew a line of white goodness through her nasal passage right there on shelving which instantly made her start cracking up in a fit of giggles. This place was just too easy.

Drugs filled her days, and not the ones that idiot Damian ran around experimenting on people with, no she sold those quick as could be refusing to be a lab rat. She was made of connections, Dj being one of them just because she was cute and had given him a "small favor." She got what she wanted, and if someone or something stood in her way she would destroy them in anyway possible including that geezer, she just had to figure out how to without getting in toooooooo much trouble. She had to avoid that, Damian was just searching for reasons to probe her brain and make her a vegetable because she refused to jump in the sack with him. He hadn't offered her anything, so he received nothing.

Now where was that section, she teetered on bare feet as fingers frisked over a few book bindings in search of something good as she stalked around all the rows getting angry at the fact that nothing was just jumping into her hands that was good. Frown creased her cute face while anger bloomed violently within eyes, the results of being bipolar and hopped up on drugs. But blissfully she stumbled just a touch ungracefully down another isle and there! She had found what she had been looking for, the treasure chest of genres!

Dainty hand reached out and tugged a book from its holdings within other books and grinned like a hyena, perfection, she had found the book she was reading last time. Historical non fiction always had a way of grabbing a hold of her along with learning new thins. She always gravitated towards this isle and the one just littered with vague medical jargon and mutilated stories. But today she was content with reading about wars within the darkness of their past.

Maneuvering carefully she made it towards the table with out falling or stumbling but she collapsed into the embrace of chair with a sigh of unbelievable comfort, but in reality a great high. Gaze flickered a little unsteadily towards the other person inhabiting her table with a touch of unsureness but they seemed engrossed within own stories about unreal shit like vampires that sparkled. Ew.

With out hesitation she snapped her own book upon to read about gruesome attacks and amazing tactics. She would behave, and Dj would be proud and would let her venture off more often, she knew how to play this game.

CREDIT SAM !? of A Changed Hogwarts. Don't remove the credit or I will find you.
LYRICS someday - nickelback
NOTES blahhh, it will get better sorry

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[mouse]

The glory of books was you could absorb yourself in them without having to talk to someone. You didn't talk to books, you read them and let your mind wander away. It was also a really excellent way to escape life's bullshit realities and Jamie was always trying to do that. She hated the asylum, hated her life, hated that her mother was gone, hated everything. Thankfully she didn't have to have a guard up her butt at all times like the high profile kids did but she was still under a lot of restrictions. For instance, the library by herself was a no no on the list of things she was and wasn't allowed to do. For some reason books were off limits unless she were told otherwise but did she care? Not really.

She was so absorbed into her book she didn't noticed that someone had sat down at the table with her. The vibration on the table or the screeching of the chair on the floor didn't stir her from the lines of Armand's story. What was it about vampires that enthralled her so much? It wasn't the whole idea of being the living dead like some people loved, or the teeth or the drinking blood. Honestly, it was the histories these characters had that drew her in. They were long, intertwined with other vampires and so complex that even a historian would have a problem keeping up with it all. It wasn't a problem for Jamie though, the girl had a mind and she could recall facts that some people forgot in third grade. It was a curse sometimes, since on top of that she tended to correct people without thinking about it which got her into trouble.

Rubbing her nose to try and prevent her sneezing she lowered her book, actually jumping when her eyes rested on the person at the table. Jamie glanced around for a second to see who was all here, noticing there actually wasn't anyone in there including the librarian. Wait, wasn't the librarian supposed to be there as long as students were? Oh well, she wasn't, so Jamie rest her book on her propped up legs and breathed a soft sigh. "Hi..." she managed to get out quietly, hoping the girl heard her. The doctor always said make sure to try and meet other kids in the hospital asylum thing. Nurses were always encouraging her to and in group therapy she was told to talk aloud to everyone despite her not wanting to. Well, the only thing that could happen now was the girl across from her ignored Jamie and in all honesty it might not be that bad.

((no worries, mine aren't that great))

[Nicolette V. Gladieus]

Eyelids flickered briefly as slight movement skittered beside her, book lowered briefly while she glanced with glazed vision at the girl across from her. She was cute but seemed a touch nervous, Nik guessed low to medium profile. High profiles like herself always seemed a bit more sure of themselves if not damn right cocky. This thought made her immediately snort out a chuckle then the girl mumbled out a hi, yeah she definitely needed to check her confidence. Yes they were in a nut house, yes the lead doctor was psycho and they were jammed in with lunatics but still.

"I'm not going to bite, just because i'm a high profile and wearing these damn scrubs doesn't mean i'm going to try and jump your bones then kill you with a book."

Fingers plucked at the black scrubs she was forced to wear because she had been naughty and had been busted doing the nasty in the broom closet with a nurse for good drugs. Damian hadn't liked hearing that and slapped her with a bunch more restrictions surprisingly. Screw him, he was an egotistical ass who thought he was god.

Eyes rolled briefly while she dared the girl to judge her or say something completely retarded. One wrong word and Nik would be over the table throttling her neck in a heartbeat. Drugs, drugs always heightened her bipolar disorder. But why should she stop? Glance darted about once more as an unsettling silence curled around them with a thick attribute. No one else seemed to be lurking within the recesses of the library, it was like a hidden safe haven if any were intelligent enough to think about it but none seemed to want to put the effort into figuring out how to achieve it.

Wait? Where was the librarian? Anger seared through her briefly while chair that had been leaned back on two legs snapped to the floor and she tossed her book onto the table, eyes searching about. If she called someone and told on her or this other chick she would seriously put her in the ground.

"You see where that hag went? she is a complete nark and if you aren't supposed to be here or she figured out i'm not supposed to be here that means she ran to grab Damian and his little hounds with sedatives to drag us out. But if we are lucky she is on lunch."

Teeth snagged lowere lip where she worried on it slightly, nerves hoping about with the rush of drugs beating within her system. Maybe she was on lunch, she hoped. the two of them had been quiet enough and she had probably forgotten they were there. yes. that was it. Relaxing inch by inch she looked at the girl once more, more neutral than before.

"I'm Nicolette by the way. Nik Or Nikki will do though."

CREDIT SAM !? of A Changed Hogwarts. Don't remove the credit or I will find you.
LYRICS someday - nickelback
NOTES blahhh, it will get better sorry

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[mouse]

"Didn't expect you to bite," the tick Irish brogue broke through her speech, her loudness only being a teeny bit higher than before. Jamie was just so shy she came off as nervous, well, she was a little nervous but not very. "The scrubs didn't make me think that. I've been in them too many times myself." She shrugged away that thought, adjusting how her legs were on the table so that her entire calf was on the table. Jamie was no completely slumped down into the chair, her head resting against the top of it while her eyes watched Nikki closely. The eye roll was very obvious, the girl probably thinking Jamie was really going to judge her despite just meeting her. Then again, almost everyone in this place judged the first second you walked through the door or stepped foot in an office.

Glancing around at the empty library she gave a light shrug, turning her gaze back to Nikki. "If she decided to be the typical bitch that she is than I believe she'll receive my fist as a gift," a slight smirk lifted her lips at that thought. It wouldn't be the first time she hit one of the staff for stepping out of line for no reason. Ok, so they weren't supposed to be in the library by themselves but they weren't being disruptive and they weren't causing any trouble. So there was no reason for her to go get doctors with tranqs and that shit. The momentary lapse that she noticed on Nikki's face made her smirk grow because it wasn't every day that a high profile patient actually stopped thinking about themselves for a moment. Jamie was only a medium profile patient, borderline high profile sometimes but Damian insisted on leaving her as a medium profile. That was fine for her, meant more freedom and definitely more shit to get away with.

"Jamie, but I get called MJ a lot," she said with a light smile. Raising her eyebrows as she heard movement in the hallway her eyes immediately turned to the doorway but whoever was out in the hallway didn't stop to come into the library. "So what did you do to get stuck in here?" It was a common question around here when you met someone since they were all...lunatics.

[Nicolette V. Gladieus]

Smirk tugged across her features as the girl mentioned the violence she would use against the librarian if she decided to be a good citizen and tattle on them like a five year old. Bare feet kicked up onto the table's surface while she nodded registering Jamie's name to memory and tucking away the MJ for future use.

"Killed a few FBI agents in a drug bust against my adopted father. Automatically got me thrown in here saying i was a fucked up mess in the head."

Shrug tugged her shoulders heavenwards before letting them fall once more. The scene of it all happening once more bloomed within her head just forcing a sigh from her lungs in a chopped burst. She mellow finally, first few minutes of the white rush from drugs was wearing thin leaving her chilled out. It wouldn't last if she became irritated but it still helped. Made her friendly and better to get to know. It seemed surprising to most she could talk about her reasons for being here with such a nonchalant manner but even without a high she could do it. She felt no remorse for those she killed, they had deserved it and if she had to do it all again she would do it the same but spit in their faces as they died.

"How about you?"

Yeah, she was curious as always. It intrigued her to hear others' stories but most of the time it was because nine times out of ten it held some sort of blackmail or leverage she could use against them in the long run. Hell she needed every piece of anything she could find just to get ahead and get what she wanted. Sure she used, abused and even ruined people but they weren't her family nor her friends. Screw 'em.

She had caught the movements in the hallway also but paid them no heed, worst case scenario they were Dj and she really had no worries, if she was behaving he would go scout out a corner to text his girlfriend and leave them be. He was such a good little pet to have at her side at times.

CREDIT SAM !? of A Changed Hogwarts. Don't remove the credit or I will find you.
LYRICS someday - nickelback
NOTES Nik and her would be good friends XD

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[mouse]

If anything Jamie could be a little paranoid about things, especially about getting caught doing things she wasn't supposed to be doing. Last time she got caught she had to wear scrubs and was thrown in solitary for a week, not that it was really needed but it was just for shits and giggles. Damian was an asshole and Jamie didn't get along with him..at all. Then again, what patient in this place did actually get along with Damian? As far as she knew, not one patient left here to go back into society. If anyone had left they had gone to another asylum yo live out their days in the looney bin. Jamie was going to do that, she knew that much, Nikki probably would too. High profile patients were almost never released, actually they probably weren't released at all.

Why was she here? It wasn't as good as Nikki's reason but Jamie was a medium profile patient, she wasn't supposed to have killed someone. "PTSD, Nightmares that cause me to wake up screaming bloody murder, and I have a few tics that go along with the nightmares and I have ODD," she rattled off her problems like they were nothing, as if she had explained it to people so many times this was just another little normal question. Well, technically it was a normal question for her because all doctors and nurses asked her why she was here and then her brother had asked her a few times. Every time they found something else wrong with her she had to memorize what it was. Doctors annoyed the piss out of her with their white coats, 'I'm better than you' attitudes, and more importantly their sighs while they wrote on their notepads about Jamie.

To her it always seemed like they were trying to make her angry or make her feel like crap. It wasn't fun and it didn't help her situation any more than being in this place but it wasn't like she had a say. "Sounds like your guards back," she smiled ever so slightly, having seen a big hulking man peek his head in the doorway and then go back out in the hallway. "So what did you do that they're making you wear scrubs?"

[Nicolette V. Gladieus]

Body relaxed into the chair as she shoved the book book to the side with heel, not really interested in reading at this point. She barely ever had company unless she forced herself upon someone or her faithful puppy Dj and well, his stories just got old when he decided to talk at all. He tried so hard to be the serious muscle head but failed when flirted with and got all flustered or even when she was bad and he had to blow up and drag her in to Damian. But she could forgive him.

Disorders were rattled off as if read from a text book causing a look of curiosity bloom around the edges of her face. Why was this girl a Medium profile for heaven's sake? She should be a low or better yet not here at all. Some drugs should have chilled out some problems while therapy worked out some more of the wrinkles, yet then again there may be more behind the cute face and book worm quality.

The whole detached quality though of explaining reason for being here bothered Nikki none. She herself blew it off, as most did for it was such a usual conversation to be had here. What else was there to talk about anyways? The weather? OH how about that bears game! yeah right, a bunch of nutters strewn together in one place was just a breeding ground for problems and mundane conversations.

"That's Dj, my babysitter for five days a week. He's a good guy just a little edgy but let's me do my thing."

She tossed a flippant wave his way with a small grin then readjusted so she was curled up like a cat in front of a fire place within arms of chair.

"Got busted sleeping with an intern for some items. Damian takes a frown upon the staff fraternizing with the nut jobs, only he can i guess. Hypocrite."

She scoffed, let the girl assume she was a whore or what not. That wasn't a problem, Nikki just knew what she wanted and how to get it. Items most would kill to get she could. No one just seemed to realize how easy it was if you gave up a few morals and were slick enough.

CREDIT SAM !? of A Changed Hogwarts. Don't remove the credit or I will find you.
LYRICS someday - nickelback
NOTES blahhh

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[mouse]

"I'm glad I don't have to have a guard up my ass at all times. The only guard I have stands at my door, and that's not all the time," she shrugged lightly. If Jamie had to have a guard around her at all times she would probably go absolutely batshit crazy since there really was no privacy. Her eyes flicked up to look at Nikki when she mentioned sleeping with an intern and the smirk that worked its way onto Jamie's face was quite comical. "Oh, Damian is the biggest hypocrite I know. Asshole thought drugging me would be ok, when that didn't work expected me to have some...fun with him but that didn't work out so well." She let out an almost sadistic laugh thinking about it, letting herself relax some more into the chair.

"The interns here are the worst because they'd rather have sex with the patients than learn their jobs. Although, the sex isn't really that bad," Jamie lifted her eyebrow a bit as she spoke, having dwindled a bit into the sex. It wasn't necessarily something she did often but if Jamie really wanted something, she'd make sure to get it. The interns were more twisted than the patients in most cases, always having something wrong with them. There was maybe one normal staff member here but Jamie was just giving it some time before they turned over to the 'dark side'. Sighing when she noticed what time it was, Jamie decided she was staying right there in her spot so she could avoid any kind of therapy session that she might get stuck in. "I need a day where they don't bother us at all, that would be so nice," rubbing her face as she spoke, Jamie brought her legs down off the table and onto the extra chair.

She watched Nikki for a few seconds, thinking about a few things. "Just out of curiosity, and you don't have to answer me. How did the FBI get involved with busting your dad? And shit, I don't blame you for killing them," she shook her head, giving a shrug. "They were probably a bunch of assholes anyway." Jamie wasn't all that fond of authority, especially if it was corrupt authority.Ever since they had taken their good old time getting to the car accident and then had done a really bad job actually finding out the cause of it, Jamie had learned to hate authority. It didn't help that Damian was such an ass either, that merely added to it and the guards were pretty bad too. Some of them weren't, but a lot of them took their job way too seriously.

[Nicolette V. Gladieus]

This whole place is full of bull shit, be it the doctors interns, nurses or even some of the guards. Nothing but corrupt political bull shit. We aren't valuable pieces of society, we are alienated because of our illnesses so we don't matter. What we deal with doesn't matter.

Words were clipped as hints of anger intertwined within them, Damian was a scumbag and the fact he had done that to Jamie also irritated her. Could he not keep it in his pants? Or were patients the only ones he stood a chance with because every one else was sober enough to know what the hell he was up to and see through his sleazy ways? Yeah, she slept around but damn she still couldn't even compare to him and his vile ways.

Jamie readjusted herself causing Nik to glance at her briefly before question hung in the air that took Nicolette's breathe away for a moment. Wind knocked from her completely as she thought about her adopted family, he loving adopted father and they way he had been brutally killed. But she had gotten revenge, nothing but a small girl popping trained guys in the face with a gun. she had hurt the U.S' ego and now she was paying. Bunch o bull shit.

"Grew up in France at an orphanage that was awful, finally ran away and got the fuck out of there only to live on the streets barely surviving but learning what i needed to know." she paused foe a split second as her thoughts traveled back in time but soon she started up once more. "My adopted father found me on the street trying to pick pocket him and took me into his home. He was a well known drug lord and he taught me the ways of business and the streets. His market reached all over the world and the U.S made an agreement with France to get in there and remove him. But it got ugly and he was killed and i took their lives in return and got shipped here."

She rattled it off, completely monotone and detaching herself from the situation and the story. She was a big girl in a fucking institution, she was above crying or becoming emotional over her past. Fuck it, she was damn proud for killing those men and to do it all over again she would have been quicker and killed more.

Legs dropped off the table and tucked pt o her chest as hand moved and readjusted her book that was sitting slightly askew, through whole story she had been staring at it and finally needed to move it. So it sat centered and even. Good Old OCD>

CREDIT SAM !? of A Changed Hogwarts. Don't remove the credit or I will find you.
LYRICS someday - nickelback
NOTES blahhh

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[mouse]

i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†

†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend

Oh Nikki was interesting to listen to. Her life as an orphan and all making Jamie almost smirk, but she didn't want to piss Nikki off in case she decided to jump Jamie at some point later on. Jamie could hold her own, but she was dealing with a seasoned killer here and didn't know how well she would hold up. Never in her life did she ever actually contemplate how she would murder someone let alone go through with murdering someone. This girl, on the other hand, had actually killed FBI agents, people who were trained to kill those they were hunting after. Yeah, she wanted Nikki to stay on her good side.

"I think you did the right thing," she commented honestly, knowing had it been her in that situation she probably would have done the same thing. Jamie was one for revenge in any form possible even if she wasn't a killer. Nikki took it into her own hands to protect the person she loved, kudos to her, now Jamie had to stay on her good side. Being in this place you had to be a weasel in some form just to stay on the crazies good sides. No one wanted to be in here and no one wanted to die an early death unless they had that mutilation disease or super depression. Leaning back into her chair she studied Nikki for a moment, remembering their conversation about Damian and the other asshole nurses in here.

"The man has to get himself some ass in some way because no one will fuck him outside of here. Shit, I doubt anyone fucks him inside of this place he just tries it," she growled a bit at that thought, knowing Damian was always trying to prescribe new drugs for her to take that didn't seem to do anything but make her dreams worse. He scoffed her nightmares all the time, saying they weren't real and were stupid. Of course they weren't real but they were scary! Shaking her head a bit she tossed the book onto the table from her lap, crossing her arms. "That piece of scum makes me so mad. We're here because there's something wrong that needs to be fixed. We're not rejects, we're not outcasts, we're fucking people who need a little help. Well, some of us do, not all of us." Shaking her head again she sighed, trying to keep herself calm.

( OUTFIT ) [/b]
( WORDS ) i never bother lol
( TAGGED ) Nikkay
( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor
( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
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[Nicolette V. Gladieus]

Nikki scoffed out a laugh as she listened to Jamie, all of it had been true though she chose to ignore the piece about not blaming her for killing them. That was enough of her past, nothing else more would be pushed out or told but instead she would sidestep or ignore it.

Damian was just a filthy piece of trash, he did what he could to get his dick wet and besides that he used them all as his own personal lab rats to get his rocks off. A place where they were supposed to recoup and get better at was nothing more than a mad house created by a sadistic family to tamper with people minds not to heal them. It always made her curious as to why the government checked in, or why they funded this shit. it was beyond her but not her problem really. She could have her fun here and get her way mostly.

"One day i'll kill him, no joke."

She muttered, mostly to herself but to Jamie in some aspects. She would take that man's testicles and shove them down his throat while he bled to death before her. She hated him, hated him more than anyone she could possibly hate. And what did she do to people she hated? Fucking killed them. He was just a disgusting man that did not deserve to live or breathe....

Movement caught her gaze and she watched as Dj ducked his way into the library with the librarian right behind him, a scowl marring her old putrid face. Nikki blew Dj a kiss while a sneer was tossed at the old bat. With that Dj tossed his head and beckoned her with two fongers, meant it was time to go.Huffing slightly she rose from her seat and glanced to Jamie.

"Well it was nice talking to you but my baby sitter beckons. Catch yah around."

CREDIT SAM !? of A Changed Hogwarts. Don't remove the credit or I will find you.
LYRICS someday - nickelback
NOTES Sorry i cut it short, her muse is just killin' me right now XD

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