i am still human {open}

[manda12]

'' take your past and burn it up and let
'' it go , c a r r y on i'm s t r o n g e r than you'll ever know

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The voices in her head had calmed a bit since she had arrived to Lucid Manor. Sure it had only been a day or two by now, but she was coming to terms that her mother just hated her and that she was now on her own for the rest of her life. Her family would be the kind of people to just leave her to the side when she no longer was what her parents wanted. Because she was so mentally disabled, it was easy to just forget. Kara was corrupted and she was in here for good probably. Lucid Manor was going to have to become her new home.

At least they had a library. It was probably the only place she would feel herself. Kara liked reading, it calmed her down and distracted her from her issues. Though not all of it distracted her. She was now alone and being alone was the worse feeling ever. She was alone with the voices in her head. Alone with things that could kill her. She was a danger to herself now more then to others. Having spent the night before in a panic, she almost had a breakdown already. The voices and the thought of the wolf coming to get her really ate away at her soul. Fear had engulfed her ,causing to go into a dangerous fit that proved she was more of a threat then she had looked.

Though that night was a blur now. Her head ached and she was in no mood to deal with anyone. Bags lined her eyes underneath, her skin pale, her eyes lifeless. She looked like any patient that had been in Lucid Manor for a really long time. Sitting in the library, she had the book Romeo and Juliet in her lap, hoping something that would distract her.. but it was doing a poor job. The hopeless romantic underneath all of that craziness just wasn't present anymore. Depression took over took her and it was obvious on her face.

"Kara…." the wolf whispered to her in a teasing tone. A warning growl following.

The hair on the back of her neck stood as she gulped, picking her eyes up from the stale page. Looking around , pure fear struck her eyes. Were was he… that was always the first question that popped up into her mind. Were was the damn wolf.

" leave me alone.. please" She whispered in a shaky tone, clenching the book tightly in her grip.

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tagged: OPEN!
word count: 422
notes: anyone can reply!
lyrics: ...to be loved - papa roach !
credit:NOTHING_PERSONAL @ CAUTION !

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[jake]

How much time had elapsed since Jeremiah got committed, a month? No, it had to be more than that. Two months? That sounded about right. It may as well have been an eternity to him because that was exactly how was starting to feel. An eternity spent in the one place on earth he would dare compare to Hell itself and that was saying a lot because he didn't think too lightly of the underworld. He remembered his first day, or night, rather. He had been involuntarily checked in at around two or three in the morning. His mom even said it would be good for him, that he was sick and he needed this, and that hit him right where it hurt the most. Of all people he never would have expected the affectionate mother he trusted so much to call him insane even if she did say it in a less obvious sort of way. Even if she hadn't been the one to put him in Lucid Manor she still supported the decision of the authorities who had. He remembered the evening so vividly, him strapped down on a hospital bed pleading for the woman to believe him, her shaking her head at him sadly with tears in her eyes. She couldn't bear to look at him anymore so she left the room in a hurry with mascara stained cheeks. She came back several times to visit, each time breaking down at some point. His father, the arrogant evangelical minister that he was, refused to see his eldest son. He had become nothing more than a stain on their perfect little Seventh-Heaven style family and he was ashamed of him, especially since his entire congregation heard the news about what a crazy homicidal son he had. His mother came to visit earlier today, bringing along Jeremiah's brother Jedidiah. Jed.. of course he complained the entire time and whined about wanting to go home because the 'retards' around here, as he'd called them, were giving him the creeps. Jeremiah was glad they hadn't stayed very long this time around.

He wandered into the library, a guard trailing behind him. Due to his most recent violent outbursts he got bumped up to what was known as a high-profile patient. What were the perks to becoming a high-profiler? A new wardrobe full of nothing but hospital scrubs and a big burly man to tag along with him wherever he went. With the institution's cool temperature he would have done just about anything in order to get one of his old hoodies back. Oh well, at least on the bright side he would always have company now, even if that company didn't seem too interested in carrying on any conversations with him that weren't patronizing. Despite the guard's crappy attitude toward him Jeremiah tried his best to be polite. It wasn't like the guy enjoyed following the Paranoid Schizophrenic around all day and night but being assigned to him mean't he had no other choice if he wanted to collect his paycheck at the end of the week.

He was about to take a look at the books when all of a sudden a female patient stole his attention away from the shelves. It was her fearful whisper that made him glance in her direction, not that he could make out the quiet words that escaped her lips, but her eyes.. they held the unmistakable expression of fear. Was she okay? No, she didn't look it. Jeremiah took a few cautious steps toward her, not because he was afraid but because he didn't want to risk frightening her anymore than she already was. The guard watched the young man warrily from the other end of the room, meaty arms folded over his broad chest. Jeremiah's brows furrowed slightly and in the gentlest of tones he said to her, "Hey there, are you alright?"

[manda12]

'' take your past and burn it up and let
'' it go , c a r r y on i'm s t r o n g e r than you'll ever know

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Setting her book down , Kara pulled her legs to her chest on the chair and pressed her lips against her knees. Her blue eyes darted around the library very quickly, not realizing that the wolf was just in her head and no one else could hear him. Another growl was heard, causing the girl to jump. Then there was a voice , a soft and gentle one but a voice none the less.

Frightened and on edge, she flew from her chair. Her blue eyes looking sharply at the male. Though she didn't jump because he freaked her out. Just the feeling of another presence startled the already skittish girl. With her cheeks flustering , she gulped and blinked, nodding. " Y….yes i am fine. Sorry.. you startled me." She said in an uneasy tone, pausing for a moment to catch her breath.

Like she did with almost every guy, she scanned him over. For any signs that might indicate that he would be the wolf. He was tall, he had long hair, but other then that there was nothing yet that made her feel threatened. With a simple breath, Kara's entire attitude changed. She relaxed, her stands melted into something just at ease. With a nervous smile, she sat back down and looked down at her book.

Now all she had to deal with was the awkwardness of her schizophrenia. It always left her with having to explain her constant skittish ways. Clearing her throat, she looked up at the stranger carefully , though her eyes just looked rather shy. Kara hated having to explain herself. " I am sorry, am i in your way?" She asked him. She had the issue with being in a lot of people's ways. She didn't try to be but it was hard when all she wanted was to be alone and be happy.

Yes , Kara wanted to be like a regular person. Though she embraced her mental issues because there was no way she was getting out of this place. The fairytale creatures she had called her family never should go away. She wanted them around because she had no one else to go to. No one else to listen to her. She was on her own in reality and Kara hated being alone.

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tagged: Jeremiah
word count: 384
notes: Thank you for replying! : )
lyrics: ...to be loved - papa roach !
credit:NOTHING_PERSONAL @ CAUTION !

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[jake]

]His head tilted skeptically and he quirked an eyebrow. This girl had told him she was 'fine' but somehow, he wasn't entirely convinced. Was it really possible for him to startle someone that much just by stepping into the same room? He wasn't what you'd call scary looking or at least, he had hoped he wasn't. Then again, he remembered that this place was an insane asylum. The people weren't exactly normal and their responses to everyday occurances often varried from one extreme to another. He had met enough patients so far to realize that. Still, he could have sworn looked fearful before she even took note of his presence. Jeremiah rubbed the back of his neck as he pondered, hoping that she really was in fact as 'fine' as she claimed she was.

"You don't have to apologize," he told his fellow patient. "I should be the one saying I'm sorry, I mean, I'm the one that startled you right?" He grinned wryly. "I didn't mean to. Its just.. I don't know, you looked like you could've seen a ghost or something. Are you sure you're okay?" He brought himself closer to the blonde girl, lessening the gap between the two of them. If there was one thing Jeremiah was known for other than religious delusions it was his messiah complex. Annoying to most, comforting to some, he was always looking for ways to help people in need. It had become a compulsion he couldn't turn off anymore. It was starting to aggrivate a lot of the staff for some reason. They often pulled him aside and told him to focuss on himself instead of everyone else and helping the people around him was the therapist's job, not his. He didn't agree with that. It was an angel's duty to aid humanity in any way they could, and yeah.. Jeremiah honestly believed that he was one of those holy winged beings. It was his most prominent delusion alongside the need to exorcise demons. She had asked him if she were in his way. Jeremiah shook his head."Of course not. I just came down here to get out of my room for a while and maybe check out a few books. I don't exactly have a destination so you can't really be in my way." Jeremiah offered her a smile, hoping to ease her nerves if only a little. Why did she seem so nervous?

( no problem :] )

[manda12]

'' take your past and burn it up and let
'' it go , c a r r y on i'm s t r o n g e r than you'll ever know

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[/center]

Kara's heart raced a bit as she looked at the stranger. Kara wasn't one to like much interaction with others because she felt the need to explain herself a lot. When she felt the need to explain herself and her actions, it just got really confusing. It was because she really didn't want to get into anyones way. The way she had killed that man who she thought the wolf was, was because of the voices in her head. The true Kara was really a skittish girl. So having that kind of mood at the moment, she didn't feel like she could handle even interacting with this stranger. Taking a deep breathe just eyed the man. Kara could immediately tell that he was a high profile patient. For one reason, there was a guard who seemed to be eyeing him and two, he wasn't wearing normal clothing. Kara didn't get why they had to wear those. It wasn't like they could use their clothing as a weapon. At least she didn't see that.

" You don't have to apologize. I should be the one saying i'm sorry , i mean, i'm the one that startled you right?" Kara would have been rather relaxed at his words, but as soon as he grinned, she was on edge again. She didn't get why but it made her skin crawl. " I didn't mean to. It's just… i don't know, you liked like you could've seen a ghost or something. Are you sure you're okay?" That had to be a trick question right? No one in this building was okay. Taking a deep breath, she looked around before looking back at him. One thing that could get her in trouble was that she was very open about her illness. It was a part of her and she never wanted it to go away. " I am just.. paranoid i guess. Stupid wolf won't leave me alone." She said softly, her voice rather emotionless.

Looking down at her toes, she just clenched her jaw and sighed. Why was this so difficult for her? She tried her best to be social and now.. she was just feeling like short answers was all she was going to be able to give him.. that and constantly worry if she was in his way. Though the fact that she wasn't in his way made her feel slightly better. Nodding, Kara looked around. " What kind of books were you thinking of checking out?" She asked him, her tone lightening up a bit.

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tagged: Jeremiah
word count: 425
notes: Kinda sucks >< I had to force myself to post this since its 1 am and ive got summer school in three hours X3
lyrics: ...to be loved - papa roach !
credit:NOTHING_PERSONAL @ CAUTION !

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[jake]

Paranoid. That wasn't too out of the ordinary around here. In fact, it was almost standard. With all of the patients who had persecutory delusions and whatever else which drove them to believe that they were in some kind of danger. It was the other thing she said that made him cock his head in question, something about a 'stupid wolf'.' There weren't any pets allowed in this facility let alone wild animals, at least, as far as he knew. So, based upon that, how could there have possibly been a wolf of all things? Jeremiah blinked. "Wolf... you say?" He gave the room a quick once over and he didn't see anything that could have even resembled a wolf of any sort, only shelves of books, that guard hovering around nearby, and of course himself. He scratched the back of his neck and his gaze drifted back to the fearful blonde girl he was talking to. "But, you were alone when I came in, weren't you..?"

The guard couldn't help but roll his eyes at where the conversation was going. He shook his head with what looked like an amused smirk on his face before flipping open an old magazine. Jeremiah didn't seem to notice while he had his back turned to the man. When the other patient asked about what kind of books he was thinking of checking out, he shrugged. He stepped over to one of the shelves and trailed his index finger along a line of titles. He had heard from a number of other patients that the selection was pretty bland and limitted. Unfortunately, it looked like they had been right about that. "Oh, you know, anything." He snickered lightly. "I was bored and, well, entertainment isn't exactly easy to find around this place, is it?" He whirled around to face the girl once again as an idea struck him. "What about the one you were looking at when I came in, is it any good?"

( lol, no worries. its cool. )