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Post by abigailwatson on Jul 17, 2011 18:37:11 GMT -5
Abigail walked to her room in complete silence, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. Today with it being warm, she was dressed in simple jean shorts, a black t-shirt and her converse.The security guard escorting her didn't even bother trying to get her to engage in any conversation, obviously he knew a lost cause when he saw it. Pushing her room door open for her, he nodded and walked away. Abigail walked into the single room, and slammed the door shut behind her, finally allowing her anger and upset to show.
Letting out an angry cry she hit her fist against the wall, barely registering the pain in her hand and wrist. Defeated she dropped onto the edge of her bed, and allowed her head to fall into her hands where she promptly began crying.
Her appointment hadn't gone as she'd hoped, she'd wanted the Doctor to see she was fine, and sign her out, but no he insisted that she needed help, that they were going to help her overcome her illness. Couldn't they see she just wanted to be left alone, it was her life, why couldn't she be the boss and decide what exactly she did with it. What did it have to do with anyone else why she was, the way she was. Trey certainly didn't care when he'd raped her, took away her innocence in the most brutal way, he hadn't cared that this was her life either, he'd just taken what he wanted, blamed her and walked away.
Shuffling up the bed, she kneeled on the pillow and peered over the head of her bed, out the barred window. Letting out another sob, she let her forehead rest against the glass as she closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath she pushed away from the window and the bed and stood up, wiping her face, feeling weak for giving into tears again. "I'm not weak...this is my life, I'm in control..." she said to herself, pacing to the other side of the bed. Running a hand through her hair, she sat back down, this time, with her back pressed against the head board, pulling her knees up to her chest, she allowed her head to rest ontop of them and she sighed, letting her eyes close as she relaxed.
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Post by dorkysarah on Jul 17, 2011 18:56:01 GMT -5
Collin had spend a greater portion of his night making the chocolate cake, and he thought it cake out pretty well. He had a piece for breakfast and chuckled to himself. He even whipped up some great chocolate icing. He figured he found two plastic bowls with lids, and cut the cake in a square to fit the bowl. He had one for Abigail and one for his lunch. Since he was going to be on a chocolate cake eating rampage. He managed to get dressed for work in a good mood, but immediately went straight faced as he clocked in and passed co-workers. He didn't want them getting any ideas, but deep down he was happy. For the greater part of the morning he figured out where her room was so he could there after she came back from the doctor visit.
Which he was in high spirits but he calmed down. Trying to think clearly and not like some little boy. He shook the thoughts away and managed to do duty watching in the halls and scanned for any mishaps. There was a guy who just refused to see his doctor. So he had to have the honor of dragging him back to his room. He waited until his lunch break and figured that she would be done with her doctor's appointment. He also over heard another guard talking about a girl coming back from the doctor so he quietly but briskly walked towards her room with the bag in hand. A lot of the staff on lunch breaks he quietly found her door. He knocks light and turns the knob to come in and pushed the door open and closed it behind him. With the lunch baggy in hand.
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Post by abigailwatson on Jul 17, 2011 19:04:20 GMT -5
Abigail huffed in frustration when she heard the knock on her door, followed by it opening and closing again, "Look I may not be able to check myself out of here but I sure as hell have the right to say who can and cannot come into my room now..." she looked up, and her eyes widened in surprise, as she stopped mid rant. Sighing slightly, she shot Collin a small smile, genuinley happy to see him, happy as well that he'd kept his word about coming to see her.
"Hello Collin." she greeted, crossing her legs on the bed and looking at him. Despite feeling happy to see him, all the negative emotions of the day were still there, and masking that happiness. Tucking her hair behind her ear she glanced at the time on the clock they'd all but nailed to the wall, "I take it this is your lunch break?" she asked, biting down on her lip, whilst she tugged at some loose strands on the bandages around her wrists.
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Post by dorkysarah on Jul 17, 2011 19:17:37 GMT -5
"Look I may not be able to check myself out of here but I sure as hell have the right to say who can and cannot come into my room now..." The words coming from her he couldn't help but give a small laugh. "Hey there, Abigail. It's okay just me." He gave her a bright smile and figured the doctor visit didn't go so well in the way she said when he came in. He shrugged it off, if she wanted to talk about it he'd let her. And he loved how her eyes widened in surprise. "It sure is, but I get an hour so it's all good." He looked at her and made his way to her bed. He slowly sat on the end of it and dangled the baggy with a chuckle. He wondered if her tugging on loose ends of things was a habit for her and pulled out a container with chocolate cake in it. He handed it to her along with a plastic fork, he liked plastic utensils around so he could throw them away if he didn't feel like cleaning them. But he usually kept a tidy kitchen.
"Wouldn't have missed seeing you today. No way." He said with a smile and grabbed another container with his piece of cake and plastic fork in hand. He took the cover off as the chocolaty smell drifted out and he was hungry. Although he probably should have brought more than just chocolate cake for his lunch. He didn't mind it at all, all he wanted was to see that lovely smile on Abigail's face. He kept his feet planted on the floor, again in his uniform. He was in need of a shave but he figured he would do that tonight. Since he didn't plan on baking another cake just yet. He chuckled.
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Post by abigailwatson on Jul 17, 2011 19:26:45 GMT -5
Abigail smiled and accepted the tub from him, along with the fork. "Thank you.." she said quietly, before breaking off a piece of the cake and raising it to her lips. For a moment she said nothing, but then inclining her head to the side she nodded, "Tastes good...you really made this?" she asked, noticing a crumb from her cake, drop onto the bed. Lowering her fork, she picked up the small crumb and stood from the bed, moving over to drop it into the bin before returning to her spot on the bed.
"Wouldn't have missed seeing you today. No way."
when he said this she smiled again, and was surprised that for the first time she felt slightly important. Laughing lighty she shook her head, "Well I'm glad your here." she admitted with a small nod, it was only now when she looked at him properly she noticed the overnight stubble on his cheeks, "Have to admit, I'm digging the rough look...." she said, signalling to his face with a smile and that was the truth, she'd always had a weak spot for the grungy, rough looking guys.
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Post by dorkysarah on Jul 17, 2011 19:46:22 GMT -5
"Your welcome." He notices the quiet about her talking and he still smiles. And he digs into his cake taking the first big bite in stride and savors it inside his mouth. "Tastes good...you really made this?" He nods his head and his smile glimmers. "I sure did, and it sure was fun to make." He watched as she got up to put a crumb in the bin and he just watched her smiling. She was indeed beautiful and he loved her hair. He pushed another piece of the sweet cake into his mouth and still savoring it. "Well I am very glad that I am here as well." And that laughs of hers he could just listen to it all day long.
"Have to admit, I'm digging the rough look...." He looked at her and smiled. "Really? Well I guess it isn't too bad but hey if you like it I can keep it." He winked again shoving another bit into his mouth and chuckled at himself. He was eating his cake down like a horse that never seen hay. "Well I am liking your outfit." He meant it and it was cute and simple although the shirt did fit the whole scenario. So he sure saw why she would pick it out. "How did the doctor go today?" He was hoping he wouldn't be jumping off a deep end he was just curious. And he just wanted to make sure everything was alright. The concern showing deeply in his face hoping that it was alright to ask that question.
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Post by abigailwatson on Jul 17, 2011 19:57:12 GMT -5
"Really? Well I guess it isn't too bad but hey if you like it I can keep it." Abi laughed when he winked and nodded her head, "You should definatley keep it..." she replied, before taking another bite of the cake which was truly delicious. When he mentioned her outfit she looked down, shorts and t-shirt simple but comfortable. Smiling she looked up and gave a small shrug, "Thanks...although I feel a bit bare, they won't allow me to wear any type of accesories...not even my earrings..." she said, pulling aside her hair, to show her bare ears.
"How did the doctor go today?" For a moment she didn't answer, merely continued to look at him before she decided to speak. With a small shrug she looked down at the cake, "Doctor thinks I have problems...and yeah, I'll agree with him, but I highly doubt he's going to be able to fix everything for me like he claims he can do." she sighed, "This is my life, I decide what happens, so why are people so adamnet to take my choices away, why do they feel locking me up in this place is going to solve anything?"
She looked up at Collin and shook her head, "I just want to scream...all the time...and I hate it...I hate my parents, I hate the Doctors, I hate myself..." she trailed off and sighed, shooting a small smile at Collin, "I never used to be like this you know, a few years back I was happy, I was planning for college, top of my classes in school, I had plans and then...then everything changed, it was all ruined." she sighed again and shook her head, glancing up at Collin, "I'm sorry for going on...your on a break and here I am whining about my problems."
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Post by dorkysarah on Jul 17, 2011 20:13:42 GMT -5
"You should definatley keep it..." He nodded and chuckled. Maybe he will keep it, and he never really let it go so why not. The outfit sure looked comfy and for bare he didn't think so. "Well I think earrings would look lovely. But you are definitely not bare." He hesitated a moment before continuing. "I think you are beautiful." He smiled and blushed to a rosie red color on his cheeks. As he stuffed another piece of cake into his mouth, it was almost gone just one bite left the question of the doctor left a silence. And her just looking at him and he waited until he got an answer.
"Doctor thinks I have problems...and yeah, I'll agree with him, but I highly doubt he's going to be able to fix everything for me like he claims he can do." And he let her finish onto the next comment. "This is my life, I decide what happens, so why are people so adamnet to take my choices away, why do they feel locking me up in this place is going to solve anything?" He thought it through his head and wasn't really sure what he could say but figured he might as well say something, "Well it's good that you admit and recognize the problems. At least I think so anyways and as far as taking away choices I think that's what an insane asylum is all about." He still didn't think she belonged here and couldn't understand why.
"I just want to scream...all the time...and I hate it...I hate my parents, I hate the Doctors, I hate myself..." as she trailed off he looked at her concerned. "But why do you hate yourself?" He wondered about it and really wanted to question it. She was pretty seemed smart and maybe a little emotional but she seemed like a great girl. "I never used to be like this you know, a few years back I was happy, I was planning for college, top of my classes in school, I had plans and then...then everything changed, it was all ruined." He nodded and wondered what ruined her plans. He knew it had to be something serious, to have everything going for you and to just drop it like that was not something you just do out of the blue. He ate his last piece of cake then threw the plastic container and fork back into the bag.
"I'm sorry for going on...your on a break and here I am whining about my problems." He shook his head still concerned and touched her knee in a comforting way. "Nah it's okay, it's always good to have an outlet and at least tell somebody." Now he just wish he could follow his own advice.
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Post by abigailwatson on Jul 17, 2011 20:24:38 GMT -5
"Well it's good that you admit and recognize the problems. At least I think so anyways and as far as taking away choices I think that's what an insane asylum is all about." her Doctor had urged her not to call it an insane asylum so she didn't, but Collin was right, that's exactly what it was, so why couldn't she call it that? Was she insane for being the way she was? She didn't know...
"But why do you hate yourself?" Abigail looked at Collin for a moment before shaking her head, she wasn't ready to scare him off just yet, but she had to tell him something at least, it felt only right. "I have a heroin addiction..." she told him quietly, I used to drink a lot and over the years because of...because of everything, I've developed a severe bi-polar disorder..." she trailed off and released a breath, what she'd told him was nothing that most of them didn't know already.
Looking down at the cake, she finished her last bite, and carefully replaced the lid, before pushing the tub across the bed to Collin, "I know that freaks some people out..." she said, finally daring herself to look up at him, as he touched her knee.
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Post by dorkysarah on Jul 17, 2011 21:21:20 GMT -5
"I have a heroin addiction..." And then it suddenly clicked. As to why she would have the mood problems. "I used to drink a lot and over the years because of...because of everything, I've developed a severe bi-polar disorder..." He thought about it and well he liked alcohol but he understood there was no drinking on the job. Ever. He noticed her looking down and looked into her eyes holding he gaze. "Well hun, it happens, I think a lot of people do their own testing. But heroin is some pretty hard stuff. As for alcohol, well I like my fair share of it as well. But it's okay cause I want to help you get better and I will help you." He smiled removing his hand from her knee and holding her gaze.
He looks at her, "Well I guess I should share something, it's only fair." He pauses looking out the window but his eyes turned hard and his lips frowned. "My sister... Maggie. I was always home alone with her. My dad was a army veteran who couldn't give up deployments for his family." This angered his still to this day and tried to hide it in his voice but it was difficult. "When I turned twenty, Maggie was becoming a teenager. I left and she always pleaded that I come back to that damn house. But I didn't want to go through life living there." He looked down and wondered why he was even speaking of it he hardly did and hated it with a passion. He considered stopping there, he'd let her decide if she wanted to know more or let it go for now.
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Post by abigailwatson on Jul 18, 2011 9:23:21 GMT -5
When he promised to help her she couldn't help but smile, wondering if that was even a possiblility now, was she to far gone? There was a darkness inside her that she couldn't control, a monster, eating away at every good feeling. When Collin removed his hand she felt the loss, but forced herself not to allow it to show. It was scary how dependant on this man she was becoming, an older man at that, her parents would blow their lid if they knew.
When he decided to share something with her as well, she listened intently, leaning forward on her knees just ever so slightly. The anger was evident when he spoke of his Dad, he tried to hide it, but she could tell...but then the anger turned to sadness when he spoke of Maggie, his sister. When he stopped and looked down at his hands she sighed. Moving further down the bed, she settled beside him, her legs tucked beneath her, her arm brushing his as she reached out and took his hand, offering it a comforting squeeze, "Collin what happened? To your sister I mean?" she asked gently, not wanting to pressure him, into feeling like he had to tell her.
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Post by dorkysarah on Jul 18, 2011 11:02:43 GMT -5
He swallowed hard looking down, and knew he was pretty choked up. But as she took his hand he looked at her giving a faint smile, but his eyes still head sorrow. He held it and stroked her fingers softly looking down them. In awe and he covered the top of his other hand with hers. "Maggie." He hesitated for a moment. "Maggie started running with a bad crowd, and I never knew about it. Cause every night she would still call pleading and crying. The voice mails broke me down so I just deleted them. Then one night I didn't get a call, and I was off from work that night. So I just went to bed, thinking maybe she gave up. I got a knock at my door early as can be in the morning and when I opened it I wanted to slam it. My sister had been drinking that night and her friends decided to go swimming. All of them were intoxicated to some point." He pulled Abigail in closer to him as he continued on, "She was swept into a under tow, she drowned..."
He looked at Abigail still holding her hand and he kisses her hand sweetly. At this point yes he did talk about the death, but it was hard. Very hard on him. He felt like it was his fault and that he should have just answered the stupid phone calls. "I should have just went back and then maybe she wouldn't have made some of the choices she did." He said weakly. He tried so hard just to keep his emotions under control and his hand shook lightly. At this point his problems melted away and he really wanted to just hold Abigail close. He wanted to tell her everything would be okay. But he didn't know, he just didn't.
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Post by abigailwatson on Jul 18, 2011 11:23:45 GMT -5
Abigail covered her mouth with her other hand as he explained that his younger sister had drowned. What pained her even more was that he was blaming himself for his sisters death, shaking her head firmly she looked at him, "Collin what happened to your sister was a terrible accident...but it was just that, an accident, so don't you dare blame yourself. Do you really think that's what your sister would want you to do?" she asked.
Smiling softly, she felt a tingle go through her when he kissed her hand, and hoping to comfort him, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders. It was a warm, comforting embrace, she only wished she could take away some of his pain, but then again, she had enough of her own. "You need to stop blaming yourself...it wasn't your fault." she said.
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Post by dorkysarah on Jul 18, 2011 11:49:26 GMT -5
"Collin what happened to your sister was a terrible accident...but it was just that, an accident, so don't you dare blame yourself. Do you really think that's what your sister would want you to do?" He stopped and shook his head. He didn't feel like speaking just yet until he knew there would be no tears. And as she slipped her hands over his shoulders he put his arms around her embracing her. He softly breathed in the scent radiating off her skin and didn't want to let go. He wouldn't let go he told himself and he rubbed her back softly. "You need to stop blaming yourself...it wasn't your fault." He held onto her tightly and gave her a weak smile. He needed to calm down, and so that he was able to help Abigail. She would need him and he would do anything if he could to help her.
He knew his self blaming would stop eventually, but the guilt still felt there. And the anger for his father still burned inside of him. But he let it go for now and just sat there still holding on to her. Enjoying just being close to her. He only wished that she didn't have to stay in here but he knew that she had to get better as well. And he would try to make her stay as pleasant as he could. He was very glad she ran into him, she was like a pocketful of sunshine. Especially with that sweet smile of hers. And the laugh, oh her laugh made him smile as he thought about it.
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Post by abigailwatson on Jul 18, 2011 12:04:30 GMT -5
Abigail eventually pulled away from Collin, and inclined her head to the side when she saw his smile, "And what's making you smile?" she asked, tugging at her bandages as she sat back down, her hands resting neatly on her lap. She was sat a little further back on the bed beside him, so she was able to see the back of him and her eyes almost instantly landed on the scar on the back of his neck.
Lifting her hand up, she allowed her fingers to ghost over it, barely touching him as she frowned, "Can I ask how you go this?" she asked, scars had always fascinated her. Even her own, she wondered what they'd look like when they'd healed.
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