Outside the Lines [AJ <333]

[Cobra Jackson Putnum]

[atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, border-left: #8A00B8 10px solid; border-right: #8A00B8 10px solid; border-top: #8A00B8 10px solid; border-bottom: #8A00B8 10px solid; background: #d8d8d8; padding-top: 16px; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 12px; -moz-border-radius: 10px; width: 368px;] trust me and take my hand when the lights go out you will understand pain without love Cobra Jackson was horribly bored. Horribly bored, and he didn’t know what to do. As much fun as it was to harass high profiles, there wasn’t something as amusing as it was to play with his little brother. Adder James – or simply AJ – was someone that CJ really, really cared about, and it was never going to change from that. AJ wasn’t a full brother to CJ, being born of another mother that was never married to CJ’s father, but they had shared the Putnum name and the Putnum blood, so he didn’t really care to distinguish between “half” or “full” brothers. They were brothers, and that was good enough for CJ. They had practically grew up together until his mom died – two years after he came back from boarding school. They were the same, yet at the same time, they were completely different. It made him smile brightly as he figured he knew where his little brother was. Knowing AJ like the back of his own hand, he figured his little brother was holed up in their room, probably wasting the day away or something. He gave a shrug of his shoulders and slipped through the Hallways towards the low profile rooms. He snuck into his room and spied his little brother curled up on his bed, well, not really curled up but laying on his bed, his pillow propped up behind him and his legs spread out. He was so absorbed that he didn’t seem to notice CJ until the slightly older boy climbed into his brother’s lap and straddled his hips, “AJ~ do you want to colour with me? I have colouring books! The nurses let me have them because I’m always a good boy for them! They gave me crayons and markers and coloured pencils and as long as I don’t try to hurt myself~,” they were silly, oh yes. CJ didn’t hurt himself ever but that’s okay. He wanted to colour and what was better than laying on the floor wrapped in blankets next to each other while going through colouring books with his little brother? pain I cant get enough pain I like rough cause I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all tag: AJ! <3 words: 349 lyrics: pain - three days grace

[Adder James Putnum]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vafwqd.jpg), border: solid #ffffff 5px; width: 400px; height: 500px;] AJ had been doing what he normally did to get through each day. He was reading. CJ had been out of the room for most of the day, as usual, but AJ preferred to not be wandering aimlessly. Sometimes he would go with CJ, but most times he preferred to just stay inside their room and read. So that’s where he was to be found when CJ came looking for him. AJ was rather wrapped up in his book so he didn’t even notice that CJ had come into the room until he was literally sitting in his lap. AJ flinched at first, he hated to be touched and when it was unexpected it was twice as bad, but he realized soon enough that it was his brother and relaxed almost instantly. There was something about CJ which put AJ’s distrust and fear out of mind. He could be himself with CJ and not worry about losing his ability to speak or be afraid of being touched or held. ”Coloring?” AJ asked, perking up slightly at the idea. He’d been reading for a few hours now and he would gladly welcome a break to do something else. ”Coloring sounds like lots of fun, CJ. I wanna use the colored pencils!” He smiled at his brother, happy in knowing that at least someone in the world understood him. ”You better not try to hurt yourself. I don’t want you being hurt.” It was the one large difference between the two boys. They both were there for primarily the same reason – the fact that they found themselves in situations where they were injured more than any normal teenagers. But AJ didn’t like the pain, hated the fact he needed it most days, and really, really didn’t like seeing CJ get hurt. CJ’s ideas towards pain were a little… different. He put his book aside and looked around for the coloring books. ”Where are they, CJ? I don’t see any!” he fretted, biting his lip as a small bolt of worry went through him. But CJ wouldn’t lie to him. CJ never lied to him. If CJ said he had coloring books and colored pencils and markers and crayons then AJ knew that he would surely have them all. Just maybe tucked away somewhere.

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[Cobra Jackson Putnum]

[atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, border-left: #8A00B8 10px solid; border-right: #8A00B8 10px solid; border-top: #8A00B8 10px solid; border-bottom: #8A00B8 10px solid; background: #d8d8d8; padding-top: 16px; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 12px; -moz-border-radius: 10px; width: 368px;] trust me and take my hand when the lights go out you will understand pain without love CJ stared blankly at his brother for a long moment as his brother seemed to recognize who he was, before he perked up – almost excited – about the colouring. He then expressed his wish to use coloured pencils, and that CJ shouldn’t hurt himself, and the slightly older boy rubbed his brother’s hair, messing it up, “Silly, AJ. CJ won’t hurt himself, promise, promise, promise!” he giggled, getting off his brother’s lap as he watched the younger Putnum look around for the colouring items. CJ teased him a little before he pulled off his blanket from his bed and laid it on the floor for added comfort on the linoleum tiles, and then proceeded to kneel down and fetch stuff from under his bed. He pulled out a large, white tub with two locks to hold it shut and a handle place, filled packed with different types of colouring books, colouring items, glue, glitter, trace things and even a little paint (which he was told to use only when he was being supervised by a nurse so that was instantly out of the question). He gave a big grin to AJ, shaking his bum a little, “Lots of fun stuff to play with. Come lay with me and we can colour lots, and we can use your blanket as a blanket and mine as a bed!” he announced, excited as always. He dropped the tub down on the blanket laid on the floor and crawled himself onto it, making himself comfortable as he laid on his tummy, pulling out a fantasy themed colouring book and a pack of 64-crayola crayons, in which he dumped them out on the floor next to his blanket, picking up a green crayon and started to colour in the lines. After a moment, he turned and looked over his shoulder at his little brother, making a face, “Silly boy, are you going to come colour with me, or am I going to have to colour for you?” he teased, playful as usual. He shook his head as he unceremoniously dropped the green crayon and went to pick up a blue one to colour in another section of the drawing. To say the least, seeing a nineteen year old colouring without even a care in the world; it was definitely a sight to see. pain I cant get enough pain I like rough cause I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all tag: AJ~ <3 words: 381 lyrics: pain - three days grace

[Adder James Putnum]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vafwqd.jpg), border: solid #ffffff 5px; width: 400px; height: 500px;] CJ got up from AJ’s lap and the younger boy crouched on his hands and knees to watch as CJ set up a coloring station for the two of them. There was a blanket laid out on the floor and then a big tub filled with all sort of things they could color with. AJ grinned as he watched from the safety of his bed as his brother set up all the different colored pencils and crayons. ”My blanket as a blanket. Right.” AJ nodded and slid off of his bed so that he could gather up his blanket in his arms while CJ began coloring. He got tangled up in the blanket a little bit as he tried to pull it from his bed – it had been tucked in rather nicely on the part against the wall and he was having trouble detaching it – and was occupied long enough that CJ turned to see what was taking so long. ”’m comin’, I promise!” He yanked hard, his bed moving an inch or so away from the wall, and the blanket came free finally. He dragged it over to the setup CJ had prepared and carefully dragged it out so that the four corners matched up nicely with the four corners of CJ’s blanket underneath. Grinning at his work he grabbed his pillow next and laid it down at the head of their makeshift bed. Then he slid in between the layers and stuffed the pillow under his chest. ”This is gonna be fun, CJ,” he stated as he reached for a handful of the colored pencils. He grabbed a coloring book – it had race car on the cover and was filled with all sorts of cars and race tracks – and started to color in the first picture he flipped open to. He colored quietly for a minute, careful not to wear the lead of the pencil down too much as he shaded in between the lines. ”CJ? What happens if the pencil lead breaks? We don’t got a sharpener cuz it’s sharp. Do the nurses maybe have one we could use? He held the pencil up in his hand and examined the point. Without really thinking about what he was doing, AJ lifted his other hand up and pressed his fingertip against the point of the pencil – hard. Sometimes he did things like that without really thinking about what he was doing. CJ wasn’t like that. CJ went to other people when he needed to feel that sort of pain. But because of his fear of being touched, AJ sometimes drifted off into his mind and hurt himself without consciously thinking about what it was he was doing. The pencil tip wasn’t anywhere near sharp enough to draw blood, but the harder he pressed the more he could feel the pressure turning to pain against his skin. And as lost as he was in the feeling, he didn’t ever really think about stopping the action.

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[Cobra Jackson Putnum]

[atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, border-left: #8A00B8 10px solid; border-right: #8A00B8 10px solid; border-top: #8A00B8 10px solid; border-bottom: #8A00B8 10px solid; background: #d8d8d8; padding-top: 16px; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 12px; -moz-border-radius: 10px; width: 368px;] trust me and take my hand when the lights go out you will understand pain without love CJ couldn’t help but giggle in excitement as he started to colour before looking over at AJ, his lovely little brother, who was apparently struggling with getting the blanket free from his bed. He informed CJ that he was coming, and CJ was going to get up before he yanked hard and the blanket sprung free. He watched his brother with excited eyes as he laid the blanket down – corner to corner with his own blanket – and couldn’t help but giggle, “AJ is a silly goose. Having to be so silly and exact,” he grinned brightly at his baby brother as he excitedly said that it was gunna be fun, as he slipped between the blankets with his pillow. CJ beamed and shoved the colouring books a little more towards AJ before grabbing one of his own – it had dogs and cats and various other animals in it – and, as he wiggled his toes – opened to a page with a half-coloured dog. Might as well finish his own colouring. He grinned and quietly started on his task, sticking his tongue out just a bit from the side of his mouth as he fell into a thick haze of concentration. AJ broke the silence, asking about the lead, and CJ’s eyes moved gently from his colouring book to his brother, who simply started to poke the point of the pencil into the pad of one of his fingers. CJ grinned at the question, and pulled out a purple hand held pencil sharpner, “Allie lets me have one if I’m good and don’t hurt myself with it. But it’s hard to, because it’s set in the plastic and everything, you know? But she lets me have it because I’m a good boy!” he grinned, pleased at himself. He reached over, underneath the blankets, as he watched his brother, who was getting lost in the pain. With cold fingers, he grabbed the skin of the side of AJ and pinched, and twisted, “No harming yourself, or they’ll take away my colouring pencils. If you need a quick fix, I’ll help, but you can’t do that to yourself, Adder James,” Cobra Jackson warned his brother, a stern look on his face as he talked. It was completely true – and to be quite honest, CJ wanted to keep his colouring pencils for later colouring. pain I cant get enough pain I like rough cause I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all tag: AJ <3 words: 383 lyrics: pain - three days grace

[Adder James Putnum]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vafwqd.jpg), border: solid #ffffff 5px; width: 400px; height: 500px;] AJ was pulled away from pressing his fingertip onto the pencil led by the sharp pain from the pinch in his side. He squeaked and turned away from CJ’s fingers slightly, dropping the pencil onto the blanket in surprise. ”S-sorry, CJ,” he apologized, chewing on his lip. CJ was always there to look out for him, he knew that, and the older brother caught him when he was lost in acts he shouldn’t even be doing in the first place. He noticed that CJ was giving him a stern look and a bit of a lecture, but he didn’t want to make his brother mad so he just looked away and didn’t say anything at all. His eyes fell on the sharpener and he smiled, recalling what CJ had been saying to him while he was lost in his own world. ”I’m lucky you’re such a good boy, CJ, cuz you get to have all the fun stuff.” He giggled and reached across, picking up the sharpener in his hand and the colored pencil in his other. He put the pencil inside and slowly sharpened the tip of it, watching as the trimmings fell out of the top. AJ leaned back over and resumed his coloring in the book, careful to stay inside the lines. He was still ignoring CJ’s look – if CJ was still looking at him at all – and planned to do so the entire time he was coloring. But, as was usual with CJ, after a few minutes he felt like he wasn’t being fair to his brother, and he put the pencil down. ”CJ…” he started and began picking at his nails nervously. ”CJ ‘m sorry that I was tryna’ hurt myself.” He knew that CJ knew he didn’t mean to do it most times, but he did still want to apologize. ”But… Do ya think… Do you think you could h-help then? Cuz… I don’t…” He bit his lip hard, possibly drawing blood and buried his face against the blankets. It embarrassed him that he needed to feel pain still, especially since he knew, in his head, that it was wrong. That he shouldn’t wanna be in pain. That normal people wanted to avoid pain as much as they could. But there were things that AJ was never going to be, and normal was one of them.

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