Begging for More (Tag: Dr. Rathebone)

[Cobra Jackson Putnum]

Everything for Cobra Jackson Putnum was in a funnel today. Everything seemed to just be a mix of haze in his mind, and he couldn’t remember what had happened much today. It was later in the day… he figured it must’ve been at least three or four in the afternoon, because that’s usually when he had his almost-daily doctor appointments with Rathebone… the old man seemed to have taken a liking to CJ the first few days the nineteen year old was here, and that fascination made a shiver of excitement run through his body, mostly down his spine, at the thoughts of what his doctor would do to him this time. He didn’t know why his mind was hazy though… he figured it was the strange medicines he was given today, rather than not his normal ones. For the most part, he was happily snuggled in bed, looking at the walls without thinking, without wanting to do much. The thing that puzzled him was why he didn’t have his cravings – normally they would’ve settled in after an hour of being awake but… they didn’t even phase him. It did scare him a little, because his pain was the one thing that made him feel alive, made him happy.

It was almost as if whatever pills they gave him made him less of something that he wanted to be, that they took away his cravings. It really did scare him.

“CJ, it’s time for your appointment with Dr. Rathebone,” one of the more bossy nurses said as she entered his room for the umpteenth time, pulling him out of his bed and guiding him down the hallway. His mind raced with almost nervous, hazy worry as the nurse led him down through the hallways, his feet stumbling just a bit as he was pushed into the treatment room and told to get onto the bed. He felt more compliant than normal – maybe they took away his passive-aggressiveness, too? He mulled about that as he hopped onto the medical bed – the gurney or whatever – and the nurse took one wrist and put it into a padded restraint, before locking it up tight before going and doing the other one. Why…? He looked at her confused for a moment before she gave him an almost twisted smile that ran that nervous feeling down his back again. Today was a special appointment?

He was nervous as she left. He wasn’t used to the silence of Dr. Rathebone’s treatment room being quiet. Usually, as the nurse left, he was coming in, ready to put pushpins into his skin, or do something equally as painful – the thought made CJ lick his lips, almost wondering what his doctor would do today to him. It wasn’t often that he had to be restrained; sometimes he had been cuffed to the wall, or simply told not to move – in which CJ had a mental struggle with, as he wanted to move but the man was so… so controlling that he just stayed frozen the entire appointment until he said differently. His heart skipped a beat; he could feel the medicines finally wearing off, the urges and cravings to want to be hurt slipping back into his system, the only thing on his mind being what his doctor was going to do to him today. The man knew how to work Cobra; the man knew just by being stern or by saying something with a serious face made the nineteen year old stop and listen, falling absolutely compliant. Was that the reason why the doctor loved him so much, loved to play with strange toys over his body until he couldn’t focus straight anymore and he was about to pass out from the feelings?

He squirmed, almost excited, almost nervous against the bonds holding him to the bed, mind already filled with the ideas of what his doctor would do. The man was sadistic; the pain he gave CJ filled his mind for hours – sometimes days – after, and even the appointment the day later was a haze, only staying focused long enough to hear the medications he was given. He wondered if his doctor was thinking of giving him medicines that made the pain magnify… the thought made him visibly shudder as he propped up his head to look around the bland treatment room. The doctor had nothing out that would make it obvious to what he was going to be doing to him; not even any of the strange instruments laying outside on the counter in the shiny silver trays… nothing. It scared CJ – what was going to happen?

[/justify]

[raphael]

Raphael loved his job. There were of course perks to working for Lucid Manor and no he wasn't talking about the good pay or having a reserved parking spot. Rather it was the fact that play toys were practically thrown into his lap every time he blinked. Having studied mental illnesses for longer that Raphael really wanted to think about he was quite aware of the fact that he was a sadist. He knew that he by all definitions had a mental illness and there was two ways to deal with it. One was to admit that he had a problem and get treatment. The second option was to find an outlet for his undeniable urges. For four years Lucid Manor had proven to be the perfect outlet.

He could practically do whatever he wanted and most people wouldn't believe his clients and the rest really just didn't care. For the most part society disapproved of the mentally ill they spoke about wanting to help them get better, but really that was just an excuse to hide them some place where most of the world will never have to see them. That left him with a hunting ground like no other. He practically had his pick. Yes some he had to be more careful than others. But there were plenty that he could do whatever he wanted to and no one would care. Of course there were people he had to be careful with for entirely different reasons. He didn't have to worry about being tattled on, but rather that he'd be discovered when things simply went too far. One Cobra Putnam was a good example of this. The boy had practically been a Christmas gift in June.

Cobra wasn't a boy he had to be sneaky with he simply had to make sure he didn't hurt the boy enough to kill him. Of course that was sometimes harder that one would expect when he practically begged for it. Cobra was a study in restraint Raphael could go as far as he wanted with and he'd just ask for more. Sometimes it was hard to stop when the boy looked at him with that begging look that just egged on his urges. There was always a part of him that asked 'Why stop he wants it?' But despite the challenge he could sometimes be Raphael looked forward to his time with Cobra because he didn't have to hide what he was. Cobra would never dare tell because if he did he'd lose the best fix he had at Lucid. And just like any addict Cobra would do whatever it was he needed to do to get his next fix.

Not only would he suffer so beautifully for Raphael, but he'd work for it to. If he told Cobra to behave he'd do just that. If he told Cobra to bash someones head in to get his level raised he'd do just that all he had to do was wave a painful carrot in front of him and the boy would do anything. Raphael thought this a small mean smile on his face as he walked through the halls. He knew that C.J was waiting for him probably already strapped to the bed wondering what was going on. Which was exactly what Raphael wanted mental torture may not have the same appeal as say shoving pins into his nail bed, but it certainly wasn't to be laughed at. The best thing about Cobra was that he could play both ends of the spectrum. He could hurt him by hurting him and by not. The panic look on the boy's face whenever Raphael threatened to not give him the pain he craved was almost as good as the look on his face when he bit back a scream.

Of course he could only wait so long. It had been a good week since he'd been able to really hurt anyone. And while he had better control over his urges that Cobra they weren't to be denied forever. So finally Raphael let himself arrive to the treatment room he preferred. He of course had a nice comfy little office, but the last thing he wanted his patients to be was comfortable. Even the ones he couldn't outright torture well there was no reason they should feel at home or any other such non-sense. He opened the door slowly and walked in leisurely paying absolutely no attention to C.J who he knew was already anxiously waiting for the fun to begin. He walked to the nearest counter and started to slowly empty his pockets of their contents. Five empty syringe's with wickedly sharp needles. He lined each one up precisely on the counter where he knew C.J could see them.

Then even though he itched to bury at least one of the needles into C.J's soft defenseless skin Raphael stepped away from the counter putting his hands into the pockets of his lab coat and turned to look at the boy casually. For a long moment he said nothing just studying the boy drinking in his anxious look. "So C.J the report says you've been fairly good. Medication compliant?" Raphael walked around the examination table the the boy was bound to looking down on C.J his expression unreadable. "Well that's going to have to stop as the records also show that the new medication seems to be working." This was actually true and honestly Raphael was none to happy about it.

He had prescribed the medication because he had to prescribe something to make it seem that he was actually trying to treat the boy. He has picked the medication, because he really hadn't expected it to phase the boy. And while not quite distressing it didn't please Raphael as he didn't want to fix Cobra. Not that he believed there was anything really wrong with him. There was in life predator and prey, those who hurt, and those who did the hurting. There was nothing wrong with the boy he was simply the other side of the coin. The fact that someone wanted him cured of a perfectly natural response showed how silly the world was. He circled around C.J for a few silent moment and then reached down touching the boy's ear gently knowing the gentle touch would drive the boy mad. "But we don't want that do we Cobra? We like you just the way you are. I want you to start refusing. After a tantrum or two I can reasonably switch your medications to something less effective. Make sure you do a good job or well you know how easily these visits can come to an end." Raphael smiled down on the boy almost sweetly and stepped away from examination table obviously having no intention of doing much of anything interesting. Yes he wanted to make the boy so much Raphael could practically taste it, but Cobra didn't need to know that.

[Cobra Jackson Putnum]

His heart was racing, thudding hard against his rib cage, his breathing labored, forced, his eyes unfocused, head spinning. He wasn’t used to the silence that crept through the walls of the treatment room, of the way the counters – usually lined up with something interesting to play – was clean, empty of anything that would give even CJ a slight clue as to what was happening. He was anxious, but nervous at the same time – thrilled and yet scared. Frustrated and excited; it was all a mix of emotions – he knew his doctor would know it was killing him. Maybe that’s why the old man took his sweet ass damn time getting here and playing. He was playing mind tricks – he always seemed know how to control his thoughts… make CJ think about him and his pleasures, the pain that seemed to…

His thoughts were stopped in the middle of the thought process as he heard the click of the door knob and looked up, eyes going wide as Dr. Rathebone entered, taking his time. He walked to the closest counter and proceeded to empty his pockets, arranging whatever he had pulled out neatly on the table. CJ couldn’t help but gasp, squirming as soon as he saw the long, slender needles and syringes, wondering exactly what his doctor was planning today. It made him almost come out in a cold sweat, suddenly becoming just a tiny bit nervous about what exactly was in store for him. He heard his doctor’s foot steps move towards him, but his eyes were focused on the needles, wanting, anxious – he only looked up to meet Dr. Rathebone’s eyes as the older man started talking, “So C.J the report says you've been fairly good. Medication compliant?” he questioned. CJ was silent before he nodded, figuring if he lied then he’d ruin the fun, “Yes sir. CJ’s a good boy,” he replied, slipping into third person. It was so natural for him, so much more comfortable. He then started a slow walk around CJ, not touching him – which really started to drive him up the walls, “Well that's going to have to stop as the records also show that the new medication seems to be working.” He had stated. It made CJ furrow his brow, confused… wasn’t the medicine supposed to help him?

He squirmed a little as his doctor continued to walk around him in circles, his head and eyes following the man’s every move, his thoughts still wondering why this man didn’t like the fact the medicine was working. He was getting more and more excited to play the more and more he was waiting, the cravings finally really kicking in as he tried to struggle, rid himself of the bonds that held him in place from touching – reaching out and grabbing the man’s jacket and pleading for him. Oh, God; he hated begging but this man seemed to make him do it every time he got the chance. It drove him nuts. He opened his mouth to say something when he felt his doctor’s hand finally touch him; a gentle touch that really pushed him over the edge. He squirmed, trying to get the bonds off but having absolutely no luck, but seemed to look at his doctor with almost pleading eyes as the man talked, his mind fully suseptable to what the man wanted – damn, how easily he could control CJ just by the way he kept him in the dark, “But we don't want that do we Cobra? We like you just the way you are. I want you to start refusing. After a tantrum or two I can reasonably switch your medications to something less effective. Make sure you do a good job or well you know how easily these visits can come to an end,” he had said.

It took a moment for CJ to register what the man was telling him, the words thick, running through his brain over and over and over again. He shook his head at the question – no, they didn’t want that; they did like the way he was, didn’t he? He looked up at the man, reading the lips as he put it into Cobra Jackson’s mind to refuse the pills – to throw temper tantrums or… that threat – the threat that all of this would end. His eyes went wide and he felt everything suddenly go slow motion, his brain – his mind – physically clicking in place to the gentle suggestion his doctor had just made. He wouldn’t be able to not do it now – it was almost like a form of hypnotism the man played on him – he knew how to control CJ, and CJ absolutely loved it – especially when he had little rewards at the end. CJ was quiet, watching as his doctor stepped away, finally saying something, “CJ will be a good boy for his doctor,” he said, quietly, staying in his third person as everything still seemed to swirl around in his mind, “CJ will throw tantrums – refuse the medication like Dr. Rathebone wants. CJ wants to make his doctor proud,” he had said, almost mindlessly. He wanted his pleasure, and to get his pleasure, he had to keep his doctor proud.

He was mindless, numb, lost in that almost hypnotic-state – the one where Raphael could easily put in so many different thoughts into his head. It wasn’t hard to get him to the spot; in five short months, the older man seemed to have been able to put him into it almost every time they have talked, just by little simple suggestions and little pains that send him over the edge. It made CJ wonder if this man knew hypnotism and had hypnotized him on his first day at the asylum, making him more easily focused on the man whenever he had something to say to him. The thoughts of the medications were already tucked away in his subconscious, ready for the morning when the nurses came in. And then he’d have another visit to Rathebone for “bad behaviour” … the thought made him lick his lips, looking up at the man with pleading eyes, “Please, sir… CJ’s a good boy for the doctor. Please hurt CJ…” he stated, almost begging, looking at Raphael Rathebone with eager eyes, really wanting to know what those needles were for.

[/justify]

[raphael]

The fact that he was a sadist was something Raphael had come to terms with a long time ago. He enjoyed inflicting pain and really saw no issue with this. But he also enjoyed controlling others to a degree. He didn't need to control other people like he needed to hurt them, but it was certainly a good day when he could do both. It was one of the reasons he liked his job so much not only did he have a nearly inexhaustible pool of victims, but he was continually in control of other people. Being one of the main Doctors meant he had the power to control a large number of people's lives to the smallest detail. He could decide when they ate, when they slept, with the right justification he could control pretty much anything.

Most of his patient especially the ones he didn't get to play with as much or to the same extent as he did with Cobra were acutely aware of this. But there was nothing quite like the direct control that led to the pain. Watching Cobra practically beg to be hurt while he agreed to all of Raphael's demands without barely a thought made Raphael feel alive in a way few other things did. He was for a moment a god in complete control. Cobra was little more than a worshiper at his feet. Of course Cobra was being a good little worshiper which meant he deserved to be given what he needed so badly. And honestly Raphael couldn't wait to give it to him. He had been acting casually but the dark part of him that just loved to hurt people so much was practically screaming to just do it.

When CJ finally asked so very sweetly for Raphael to hurt him he gave no sign of having heard, but turned to the boys feet and walked to the end of the examination table. Raphael very calmly started unlacing the boy's sneakers still not acknowledging the boy or his request. He simply unlaced each sneaker methodically before pulling both off and setting them neatly on the floor. He went about removing the boy's socks in the same methodical manner placing each balled up sock in the boy's shoes. Then Raphael walked over to the counter carefully picking up one of his syringes. He walked back to CJ's feet and carefully uncapped the needle making sure that CJ could see exactly what he was doing.

He paused for a long moment to look into Cobra's eyes just to enjoy the want he knew he'd find there. He didn't need a willing participant to enjoy extracting his pain. In fact there was a part of him that really didn't care if his victim enjoyed the pain or dreaded it. However there was something just a bit sweeter about seeing the need in his victim's eyes when they wanted it as badly as he wanted to give it to them. He raised the needle so CJ could give it a good long look before finally plunging it into the meaty flesh of the heel of Cobra's foot. He wriggled it just a bit smiling serenely. "It's amazing how tender one's feet can be C.J. Especially once they've been worked over a bit. Imagine how lovely it'll be to have a delicious taste of pain every time you take a step." Raphael smiled knowingly as he pushed the needle a little further in. "This is of course assuming that you behave in a manner that doesn't force me to have you restrained long enough for your feet to heal. Imagine all that potential pain going to waste because C.J wasn't good."

[Cobra Jackson Putnum]

Mindless. That was the only thing that could describe Cobra Jackson as he started wanting at his doctor for even a little taste of pain. Even a little pinch would make him happy, but no – this man, the man who seemed to control even when he breathed without him realizing it – kept it away from him, torturing him until he was begging. He was about to open his mouth when the doctor seemed to ignore him. Maybe he didn’t ask? He opened his mouth, going to say something but stopped as he lifted his head to watch his doctor calmly – dragging out the torture – and CJ was silent as he removed first one shoe, and then the other. And then he proceeded o remove CJ’s socks – it made CJ wonder through the haze of the almost hypnotic trance he was in what the doctor was thinking of doing. Without a word, the man stepped away and picked up a needle.

By this time, CJ was breathing heavy, almost excited at what he was going to get. He watched as his doctor uncapped the needle and positioned himself… and then suddenly and without warning, CJ felt the searing pain in the heel of his foot. His reaction was normal – his mind shut off, his head falling back, his body arching, his hands clenching into fists as hard as he could so his knuckles turned white, his foot that the doctor had just pushed the needle through jerking every so slightly, moans and a loud squeal escaping his lips. He was in his own world, the ecstasy of the pain shooting through every inch of his body from that little spot, everything in his head screaming so naturally – everything he had was perfect. He was a good boy, he got pain when he was a good boy. It just solidified his dependency on Raphael Rathebone without him even knowing. He moaned, biting his lip gently, eyes closed, as he felt the doctor wiggle the needle in his foot a bit, "It's amazing how tender one's feet can be C.J. Especially once they've been worked over a bit. Imagine how lovely it'll be to have a delicious taste of pain every time you take a step."

The man who was slowly working in a needle through his heel had consumed his mind – and without really thinking about it, CJ thought of the pain he’d feel every step, how he’d be squealing in ecstasy every single step he took, and no one but him would know why. They’d never even bother looking at the bottom of his feet when they came to check on his bruises and cuts from other patients that have given him. He moaned, wanting that, feeling the push and he jerked just a little again, a natural reaction that he honestly couldn’t control, listening as the older man started to talk, "This is of course assuming that you behave in a manner that doesn't force me to have you restrained long enough for your feet to heal. Imagine all that potential pain going to waste because C.J wasn't good."

Without even realizing it, his mouth opened, and shaky words formed on the tip of his tongue, “CJ… CJ’s a good boy… CJ… CJ…” he was having a hard time concentrating with the searing pain in his foot, but he loved it, absolutely loved it, “CJ… listens like a good boy,” he had managed to say, lost in the thick, hazy thoughts of his pain.

[raphael]

Raphael would never understand why so many people had a problem with pain. Pain was beautiful pain was right. He knew him and people like him were described as having a mental illness, but he didn't really believe that. There was nothing wrong about enjoying other's pain. Pain was natural and inflicting pain and enjoying it was just as natural. He truly believed that the only reason it was labeled as bad was because the world had a twisted sense of right and wrong. Just like that idiots that tried to insist that eating meat was wrong. Nature was nature and it wasn't right or wrong it just was. Predators eat smaller weaker animals, and bigger stronger predators used prey to get their pleasures if it was a full belly or well other hungers.

He knew people wouldn't approve of what he was doing with the young cobra. He knew people would take his medical license away. He knew they'd scream out and call him a monster. But he just couldn't see their point especially when it came to Cobra. The boy need the pain as much as Raphael needed to dish it out. He knew people would insist he was taking advantage of C.J and his illness, but the boy wasn't truly ill so Raphael knew that was just foolishness. His point was made as he drove that single long needle into Cobra's heel and the boy went wild enjoying the suffering that Raphael was offering him. Raphael smiled a wickedly sharp smile as he watched C.J squirm and try to form a sensible sentence.

While it had no real taste the moment still felt delicious rich and filling. There were of course many more sensitive parts on the human body. He knew there were places where he could stick a single needle and cause Cobra to pass out from the pain, but while his feet weren't the best for the maximum amount of pain they were easily hidden. Very few people checked the bottoms of one's foot and even if they did they'd just assume that somehow C.J had gotten a hold of something sharp and poked up his feet. They'd have no idea what had really happened which was of course important. Raphael knew his fun would end if anyone found out and while he didn't believe he was doing anything wrong he'd protect his pleasures as well as he could no one was going to take them from him.

For a long moment he just watched Cobra enjoying the boy's reaction. Raphael just wished he could video tape the session of course he couldn't as that would leave evidence for others to find. Raphael drank in C.J's pain for another moment and then stepped away to the counter picking up another needle smiling at it before stepping over back to C.J holding it up where the boy could see it. It was then that Raphael revealed the fact that he hadn't divulged all the goodies from his pocket as he pulled out an old fashioned zippo lighter. He smiled and flicked the lighter and started slowly running the sharp needle through the flame. He didn't say a word to Cobra just looked at him letting him know what beautiful pain was heading his way.

[Cobra Jackson Putnum]

CJ was in heaven – well, in a broad sense he was. Everything he was thinking about, everything that he wanted before he had come to Lucid Manor was washed away, hidden in his mind from the people who seemed to control his life now. He wasn’t CJ – he was… someone else. He was someone who was forced into this situation by family who he hardly even knew, and agreed to go along with it. He didn’t really think being a masochist – er, like pain? – was even really a mental illness… was it? But, this doctor – Doctor Raphael Rathebone – told him it was, and wanted him on medications, so it was a illness. Of course, sometimes CJ thought of Rafi – as CJ called the doctor behind his back, or when he was angry at the man – he really was an angel. He gave CJ his pain if he was good and listened, and CJ always listened to the man because if he was good, he got pain… it was a twisted world in CJ’s mind around this man, but the man made it that way. It did scare CJ when he was lost in thought, snuggled up under his blankets…

He felt the pressure be relieved as the doctor pulled his hand away, but left the needle of the syringe stuck inside of CJ’s foot. He bit back a whine – he knew that his doctor didn’t like him whining at him and that he was nothing but a toy for his doctor’s pleasure, and that he’d do what he wanted, when he wanted. He studied the ceiling as he had already limited view being strapped to the bed, unable to protect himself – that was one thing that didn’t bother him: he liked being at the mercy of the person who had decided to play wit him, or control him. He liked being completely helpless to whatever little tortures they decided to do with him. His mind was blank, focusing on the pain that he still felt shooting through his foot, now dulled, pounding little bits of pain. He could feel a little blood leaking out of the wound, and he only lifted his head a little as he heard his doctor’s footsteps returning to him, an uncapped syringe in his hand, and a wicked smile on his face.

He felt his body tense, get excited; once again, as he had started to calm down from the excitement, it just started to build again. His eyes became bright, unfocused as they watched the needle, not noticing the lighter until the doctor lit it and started to heat the needle. His breath became rigid, his chest heaving up and down, mouth slightly open, panting, excited. Where was his doctor going to put this one? His mind raced with half questions – the questions being either the beginning of the question, or the end of it, but never a full question. He shook – not in being scared, but the feelings were starting to over ride his mind, taking over. He was susceptible to virtually anything the doctor would say, and he wouldn’t even think twice. If he was told to stand on the foot without a syringe for the rest of the appointment, he would. If he was told to stick his tongue out for the needle to go through it, he would. He’d do anything for the pain, anything – and he knew that the doctor knew that.

He bit his bottom lip, struggling, his eyes never leaving the needle that was slowly being heated by the lighter. This man held his biggest addiction, and he wanted it, “Pl-please…” he had said, shaking, really no longer thinking, but having his feelings take over, “CJ… CJ… good… hurt… please… pl-please…” he was in that thick of a mental haze, of his brain just shutting down to his addiction to pain that he couldn’t even speak a proper sentence. If he wasn’t fucking strapped down, he’d probably be on his hands and knees, begging the older man. Or, he’d probably tackle the man or threw a temper tantrum until he got what he wanted. He wouldn’t know. His body took over, and his mind didn’t mind.

[/justify]

[raphael]

Raphael didn't care what other people said like it or not pain was beautiful. No other feeling brought about the same reactions the same beautiful expressions to a person's face. People might try to pretend that pain and hurting people was an ugly thing, but Raphael would never believe it. He especially wouldn't believe it as he looked down at C.J who's face was like Raphael's canvas. He used pain to paint expressions upon the boy place. The boy was like his piano and the pain his symphony. Of course very few other people would agree. Most would be outraged and would condemn him even though the boy in front of him needed it as much as Raphael needed to dish it out. But Raphael didn't care they were close minded idiots that couldn't see the glaring truth that sat in front of them.

However it still meant he had to be careful. Because there were many who would try to take his pleasure away. Those who would lock him up and make sure he never had an opportunity to hurt others. Which was why even though he'd love to do so much more to his pliant little pain puppet he had to restrain himself and only take the littlest samplings. Neither of them could real get as much as they wanted, but it would be enough to tide them over. As he heated up the needle in front of CJ's eyes the man knew that perhaps this time the fix would last just a little longer, because he intended to let the pain last a little longer. He could already imagine Cobra running around on his hurt feet making those delicious sounds he made whenever he got what he needed so badly. Those noises weren't as good as actually inflicting pain, but know he had caused them would be almost as good.

The fact that Cobra was begging for it didn't really add to the appeal of the pain, but it was certainly a pretty sound. One of his favorite things about C.J was the fact that he could cause the boy pain directly or by withholding what he wanted so much. He knew the boy hated to beg and emotional pain while not as sweet as true pain was still fairly nice. Of course at the moment Raphael wasn't in a mood to enjoy psychological torture. No he needed the real thing so instead of drawing out the begging he took the heated needle out of the flame of his lighter and drove it into Cody's foot. Raphael drew in a deep breath as if to suck in Cobra's pain as he worked the needle wiggling it a bit in and out. "Ah yes so lovely. Can you smell that Cobra? I think your flesh is burning."

[Cobra Jackson Putnum]

CJ blinked through almost hazy eyesight at his doctor, the one who was his main focus at the moment. His eyes – grey eyes with the small hint of green in them, lit up with pleasure from his pain, eagerness for more, and almost a look of being completely submissive, the hypnotic trance look upon his face. He was easily controlled, easily amused and for the most part, highly submissive, especially when it came to his pain. His pain was his pleasure, just like he knew that Raph’s pleasure was making CJ hurt. It made a shiver run up his spine as he thought about that – he was satisfying not only his urges and cravings, but his doctor’s cravings too. He bit his lip, shaking, wanting the pain – the physical pain, which cj loved the most – to continue, to start and to never stop. But he knew it had to stop because he knew Raph would only give him so much to get happy and then he’d pull away, telling CJ no more because of something or other.

Honestly, CJ didn’t understand.

His eyes watched as Raph still continued to heat the needle of the syringe with a lighter before finally closing the lid (exhausting said flame) and without any warning, pushed the heated needle into CJ’s foot. He squealed loudly, his body reacting the same as it did earlier, except he violently pulled his foot away in an untamable reaction. He shook, visibly, the pain literally overwhelming everything he thought, felt and wanted, his eyes dulling down, his head falling back and staring mindlessly at the ceiling. He could feel Raphael push and pull the needle in and out, he could feel the heat in his foot… his head turned to the side, staring with almost hollow eyes at the wall – he wasn’t disassociated with the world, and he absolutely thrived in the pain – but sometimes, if it got just a bit too much for him – like it was a new experience, like with what Raphael Rathebone was doing today – well, he had to slip off and readjust himself to it.

He was quiet as Raphael talked, almost like he was coaxing more pain out of CJ. The young man was virtually disconnected, squirming only now and then, biting his lip at the pain Raphael was giving him, an almost constant groan escaping his lips. Without turning to look at Raphael, he finally said something, “It… it hurts…” it wasn’t to make Raphael stop, but more for a confirmation to the older man that CJ was thrilled, that he was still with his doctor, that he wanted more, “CJ… CJ… thank you, sir…” he managed to mumble, eyes still staring dully at the wall, the small twitching in his foot, fingers and body in general giving away the face that he was loving every single minute of it.

[/justify]

[raphael]

There was nothing quite like the rush when one was finally able to let go and meet the needs that clamored away in one's head. Raphael was of course in complete control of his sadism. He would never let himself go too far. He would always be careful to draw the line between what that dark part of him really wanted and what he could actually do. But there was just nothing like finally quenching that thirst and giving yourself what you needed. It was like a feast for a starving man. Yes it was a small feast and more than a bit limited, but a feast none the less. Did he want more well most certainly, but he didn't need it. Yes there was a part of him that wanted to just let go and hurt Cobra until the boy couldn't scream for any more, but Raphael wouldn't do that no matter how tempting.

Control was important perhaps even more so than the pain. He would take what he needed, but no more he wouldn't be like young C.J who was little more than a slave to his own needs. So he had to control himself which was why he would he would only allow himself only little tastes of the lovely pain he so needed to inflict. He also knew he couldn't let Cobra egg him on. Yes the boy responded so beautifully to the pain, but he had to ignore the urge to make the boy cry louder. He would only give Cobra a taste and that was all. Of course Raphael could give him a fairly generous taste after all there was no need to be stingy and the poor boy could never get what he really wanted. Raphael thought this with a mean smile as he wiggled the second needle. He knew it wouldn't stay burning hot for long, but it would stay long enough.

Finally he stopped wiggling the needle and left it in place. He paused and caressed C.J's vulnerable foot smiling as he enjoyed the boy's expression and senseless begging. He enjoyed the boy's begging almost as the boy's obvious pain. He pulled away for a moment toying with the idea of ending the game. He knew it would drive Cobra crazy if he stopped at that. For a moment Raphael was almost tempted. Perhaps even to have to boy placed in a padded room so that he couldn't hurt himself, but while the idea was very attractive he just didn't want to stop. Not really anyways. That was of course a problem as he always wanted to go further. He wouldn't go as far as he wanted, but he couldn't stop not yet Cobra wasn't hurting enough.

Raphael enjoyed Cobra's expression for another moment then smiled. "Lovely isn't it how sensitive one's feet can be. Especially given how people coddle their feet now a days in your fancy sneakers protecting them from all harm." Raphael walked over and picked up the next syringe. This one he however didn't plunge immediately into Cobra's foot instead he started poking into Cobra foot just a little enough to draw perhaps a drop of blood but no more before moving just a little and doing it again. Raphael smiled at Cobra. "Of course when I'm all done just standing will be torture. You'll love every minute of it won't you Cobra." With that he poked the boy again just barely enough to penetrate the skin it was obvious from his expression he was prepared to do this for quite a while.

[Cobra Jackson Putnum]

Disassociated. That would be the word that fit how CJ felt, and acted at the exact moment in time. He was disconnected from the thoughts that were once running through his head, from the feelings of complete submission in his body, in his mind – everything. He knew that by this point, everything he did would be controlled by Raphael – if the man stopped, CJ would go nuts, but there were times when it would happen. CJ vividly knew of those days – when the man would stop at this point and look at him with those narrow, cold eyes and tell him that he didn’t deserve more. For the briefest of moments, CJ wondered in his dully empty mind if Raph was going to stop. He felt the pressure in the second syringe that was lodged in his foot, still warm from the lighter, release and he picked his head up, looking at Raphael Rathebone with lifeless eyes, completely gone – not to say that he was dead or anything, but he slipped off and it was almost like his hypnotized trance – this way, even the biggest behavioural modifications could happen, and CJ wouldn’t think twice about it.

With almost dead eyes,CJ watched his doctor for a moment, stroking one of his feet and started to talk. It kind of all went in one ear and out the other, and he groaned, a little nervously. He hated that – the feeling of not being able to remember anything anyone told him, especially if it changed how he acted. He doubted that that was anything that Raphael was doing now but… he could never understand the man. After all, he didn’t want CJ to take his medication anymore, even though it was supposed to make him better, and he was getting better. But, as the saying goes, the doctor knows best, so who was CJ to fight against him? In most cases, Raphael had him under lock and key – if he didn’t want CJ to do something, he’d make it very clear that CJ wouldn’t be allowed to do it. It was the opposite, too, except the thought of Raphael putting CJ through something he was allowed to do and then telling him that he wasn’t allowed to do it was the reasoning why he wasn’t home.

He dropped his head back down, resting it against the pillows as Raphael slipped off ot the counter. Low and behold, the man took another syringe and returned to CJ. Gently, without putting much of any force into it, Raphael settled himself, talking to CJ so that the younger man could understand him – something about how standing would be torture and CJ would love every minute of it. While doing so, though, the man gently took his time poking his foot with the needle, allowing it to break the skin, but didn’t go further. He shifted it a little, repeating the steps. CJ shuddered, visibly, his shoulders tensing and then relaxing, his breathing – before calm as he slipped into the mood he was in – started to increase, the feelings all coming back a little, “Y-y-yes sir…” he managed to mumble, fingers clenching into a fist, the little pricks that Raphael was doing already driving him up the walls, “CJ… CJ…” of course, his mind wasn’t there so he had some problems trying to convey what he wanted to say, “love… it… CJ will… sir…” he wasn’t going to beg, if Raphael wanted him to beg for deeper prods, he’d tell CJ to beg. But the last time CJ begged in this mode made Raphel sold him, alter him just a little. He knew better – he was a good boy for Raphael, and that’s how he’d act… even if he really craved more pain than just what his doctor was giving him.

[/justify]