Cross my H E A R T (Open)

[fringe]

[ I'M WIDE AWAKE AFTER THE RIOT , THIS DEMONSTRATION OF OUR ANGUISH ]
this empty laughter has no - - reason like a bottle of your
( favorite poison )

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The Rec Room was mostly empty when Jace silently shuffled in, his head down, arms wrapped protectively around himself. Typical Jace, trying maybe a little to hard not to be noticed. The raven haired boy was new here and didnt want to draw any unnecessary attention to himself. He was dressed in a very tight pair of black jeans and an equal if not more so, tight unseen brown t-shirt. This was because the shirt was cloak in his light winter jacket and he had a red woolen hat on his head. It wasn't cold inside but it sure was cold outside. Jace just hadn't bothered to take any of it off. His bundled appearance seemed a little out of place in Rec Room but there wasn't really anyone around to notice anyways.

Jace had always been adverse to change and the new surroundings made his brain reel as he tried to take everything in at once. Not just this room but the entire asylum looked in perfect condition, not what the young boy expected from a place like this. Asylums were broken down institutions where all the crazies got dumped, and the doctors and nurses did their best to keep everyone as silent as possible, or at least that's what happened in movies. Right? Wasn't there always a crazy doctor who stabbed you will a million needles and shoved pills down your throat? This was Jace's first visit to a real asylum and he had to be a little impressed. It was spotlessly clean. Before his most recent breakdown, he had been doing only inpatient care at a normal hospital but it seemed nothing was working on him. Not that Jace really knew though since the hospital was tight lipped about it. They don't tell him anything, they never do.

His body scuttled discreetly over to the empty couch, surveying it quickly before sitting down awkwardly. It was a lumpy and well worn couch and Jace took a few moments to get comfortable. In front of him there was a little TV and coffee table . The TV was outdated and had that old 90's feel to it. He hesitated for the remote before withdrawing his hand, deciding not to turn it on. TVs were loud and had a lot of flashing images that even on a good day put him on edge. Instead his hand wavered over a jigsaw puzzle on the coffee table in front of the couch. Be began cautiously fitting each piece together, focusing most of his concentration on it.

"your say here!"

your thoughts here!

"someone else's say here!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

426 | number |
hospital by the used | music |
open | tags |
Sorry for any spelling mistakes x3 | notes |
This | clothes|
murder city - green day | lyrics |
holly @ caution 2.o | credit |

[/color]

[Cameron Lain Gillespie]

Slowly wheels creaked to a stop as the young man reached a door. The rec room, a place for people to relax or at least that's what it was everywhere else. Not every place had been the same, hopefully here it would be relaxing. He truly hoped no one would be in the room. He was new at Lucid Manor and while he had been in an asylum before he was not looking forward to having to meet all new people and everything. Did anyone like to meet new people? He leaned forward and opened the door. As he did such he thought can't these places help people in wheelchairs? He was used to the simple button to push and go into a room, but asylums rarely had such technology for it to be utilized. Cameron had become used to things like this and was perfectly fine with pushing the door even if he wished otherwise.

Once the door opened he noticed there were a few people in the room, not many. He pushed completely into the room after deciding a few people weren't a matter. As he watched a male who was wearing a grey early winter jacket get comfortable on the couch, he had to think on how nice it was to be to always be comfortable in a chair, never have to readjust. The opposing male went to turn on the television but decided last moment to not turn it on. He wondered what the male was thinking as he had then turned his attention to a jigsaw puzzle. Personally, Cameron had never been a big fan of puzzles but that did not matter, he was not the one trying to put it together.

His wheels slowly pushed further into the room and he made it up by the couch. He looked at the male and decided to speak. He was really wondering more about the male. “A bit cold in here?” he asked. As he spoke the strong Scottish accent came out. He did not know it was all that different until he heard another person speak but to him they were different. He reached up and tugged at the sleeves of his t-shirt. A dark navy blue t-shirt and a pair of dark navy blue sweats lay on his body. Well hey if you were going to sit in a chair all day, might as well sit in comfort.

[fringe]

[ I'M WIDE AWAKE AFTER THE RIOT , THIS DEMONSTRATION OF OUR ANGUISH ]
this empty laughter has no - - reason like a bottle of your
( favorite poison )

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The door to Jace's right squeaked open but he didn't hear it. Wheels rolled themselves effortlessly across the floor but he didn't hear it. He was being watched but he didn't notice. All his attention was tuned into the puzzle his fingers were feverishly rearranging. There were only seven pieces left but something seemed off with the puzzle. Their were seven pieces...but there were eight holes left to fill. Shiiiiiit, it's missing a piece! he mumbled quietly under his breath. The amorphous puzzle fragment was clenched tightly in his hand was he let out a irritated sigh.

“A bit cold in here?”

Jace's head snapped over to the boy's face in horrified surprise as he flinched back from the unsuspecting noise. His heart beat was like a hummingbird's wings and he dropped his puzzle piece immediately, his thin hands wrapping themselves protectively around his abdomen. It took him a moment to realize everything was okay, and it was just a boy talking to him He relaxed slightly, taking his hands away from himself and reached down to pick up the dropped puzzle piece. Words finally formulated in his brain and he spoke, a little embarrassed. I'm not-...Er... well... It was a simple question but being surprised had really thrown him off. It's cold outside... He finally said lamely which didn't really answer the question. He would have taken the clothes off before but forgot; Now he felt too self-conscious to peal off his sweaty jacket and scarf.

Jace ignored the urge to shrug off the male and pretend he wasnt there. He tried at a bit of small talk, while picking at his fingernails nervously. You're uh...from Scotland, yeah? he said a little timidly, recognizing the accent. Jace wondered if the boy was directly from Scotland and flew over to come to the Asylum. The place did have class. Another thing he quickly noticed was the wheel chair in which the unfamiliar boy sat in. Not automated, just the regular kind. It also had that very 90's feel, since Jace thought everyone used the battery powered ones. The boy, who seemed a couple years older, taller and probably 50 pounds heavier than skinny Jace, tugged at his shirt and Jace couldn't help but wondered if it meant anything. Often he missed obvious social cues along with just normal interactions and it just seemed odd. His hazel eyes flicked quickly between the boy and the ground waiting for an answer, never keeping any eye contact for more than a millisecond.


"your say here!"

your thoughts here!

"someone else's say here!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

441 | number |
circle the drain by katy perry | music |
jess/open | tags |
none | notes |
This | clothes|
murder city - green day | lyrics |
holly @ caution 2.o | credit |

[/color]

[Cameron Lain Gillespie]

Cameron smiled and released his hand from his shirt as the male had cursed about a missing piece. He would offer to help look for it in a few moments but now he watched as the male jump and he seemed like he did not want to be disturbed. Cam's eyes watched slowly as the male took hold of his body but soon he relaxed and made Cam relax as well. He listened as he spoke about him not being cold but it was cold outside. “I have not been to the back court, so I would not know, but it's a nice warning if I were to go outside,” he smiled softly.

“Yeah I'm from Auld Reekie,” Cameron told him and quickly realized that Auld Reekie was not a common term for people around here and corrected himself, “sorry another name for Edinburgh, the capital, I was raised there, dad flew me out here to come here,” he told him. Cameron knew that the Scottish accent was a very distinguished one to people who were not from Scotland itself. His eyes slowly followed the opposing male's eyes as he noticed his wheelchair. He wondered what the younger male had thought about it, most people would never actually speak to him about his chair but he never bothered to ask.

The male pushed his eyes to the ground. It was obvious he was very awkward with the social interactions, much as Cameron had been when he was younger. He looked at him. “By the way, my name is Cameron, though please call me Cam or Lain, either or is perfectly fine, but just do not call me Cameron,” he told him. He thought an introduction would make it a bit easier.

He thought back to moments ago about the puzzle piece. “Would you like help finding that missing piece?” he asked. He may have been in a chair but he was most definitely able to help. Helping with something may be nice for some people. “It can be quite annoying if you complete a jigsaw and do not have the last piece,” he said with a smile. He was trying to seem a little more welcoming than anything else but he was not sure if it was working.

[fringe]

[ I'M WIDE AWAKE AFTER THE RIOT , THIS DEMONSTRATION OF OUR ANGUISH ]
this empty laughter has no - - reason like a bottle of your
( favorite poison )

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Even through Jace's neurotic behavior, the older boy smiled kindly. It was the type of smile that not only made you feel comfortable but also, in a strange way anxious. It was probably the unperturbed smile and the piercing blue-grey eyes that watch everything. His strange presence made it almost unbearable to look up from the carpeted ground. Jace took a bold look up as he spoke about 'Auld Reekie' that, was actually the capitol of Scotland. Jace was interested in this since he had never been out of the state. He would love to go to places like Italy and France and maybe even Spain but his parents had never had the money. He was amazed they had enough money to even send him to a place like this, let alone pay to get out of the country. Not that it was prudent to let a PTSD patient on a plane anyways.

“By the way, my name is Cameron, though please call me Cam or Lain, either or is perfectly fine, but just do not call me Cameron,”

Jace shook his head in understanding, still not looking up. He knew what it felt like to have a name you didn't like, and didn't ever want to be associated with. His birth name was Jason but didn't let people call him by it. Yeah okay, I'll call you Cam. Call me-...uh Jace. Just Jace he said quietly, continuing to fidget with his hands. His tone was almost emotionless but nerves pulled at the edges of his voice. For a 16 year old at 5'3'' his voice reflected his body image. It was always high, in a prepubescent way no matter how controlled it was. He was just a little person.

“Would you like help finding that missing piece? It can be quite annoying if you complete a jigsaw and do not have the last piece"

Jace's gaze shifted upwards, confusion on his face. B-But I probably dropped it on the ground and you have the-...you know... the chair His finger was raised pointing carefully at Cam's wheelchair. It's okay um I can look for it or uh something. He stood up abruptly edging away from Cameron before leaning down, rolling up his jacket sleeves, hands sweeping over the carpet under the coffee table. There was a moment of awkward silence while Jace looked for the missing puzzle shard, his body moving to the crease under the couch. Finally, after much consideration he spoke, lips parted, his voice quiet and reserved. So how'd it happen?...if you don't mind. Jace was grateful that he was busy looking for the puzzle piece and didn't have to wait nervously for Cam to speak. His hand still grappled under the couch, head down, his ebon hair strewn all over his face. Suddenly he touched something unfamiliar and withdrew his hand immediately. It sure wasn't what he was looking for and felt sticky. His search spread to the sides of the couch but he was quickly losing hope.

"your say here!"

your thoughts here!

"someone else's say here!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

504 | number |
honey this mirror isnt big enough by mcr | music |
jess/open | tags |
i have so much muse | notes |
This | clothes|
murder city - green day | lyrics |
holly @ caution 2.o | credit |

[/color]

[Cameron Lain Gillespie]

The male, who would introduce himself as Jace in just a moment, just Jace still seemed a bit nerved racked. He did not look directly up at Cameron as he spoke. He understood that people who were within places like such were not exactly the most sound of mind. He did not mind when people acted differently. It was something that over came him easily, it took a while but eventually got there.

As the boy had made his introduction and decided to call Cameron, Cam it was fine. He listened the boy speak, his voice seemed much younger than what Cameron believed he was but did not bother to make anything of it. Today was going to be a good day for Cameron, he was not set be bampot, crazy. He wondered what was going on in the boy's head. He knew when he did not have too many things to focus on he could be a little intimidating, he liked to people watch, it was fun and nothing wrong with it whatsoever, or at least in his mind. Sometime people had problems with it and he did not understand why.

Cameron's faced changed to more of a quizzical look as Jace spoke about him being in the chair and insinuated that he could not really do something like such. “The chair does not limit me you know,” he told him, it may have come . He hated feeling helpless. If he wanted to help he would help. Stubbornness could end up in great problems later down the road, but Cameron never thought of the consequences. He moved his hands down to his wheels and pushed slightly closer to the couch and pulled himself up. Sure he may not look like he had the upper body strength but it came with the eight years of being in a chair that helped him here. Once he pulled himself onto the couch, which was not comfortable at all. He moved himself down to the floor and pulled around like an army, sort of, crawl. It was harder and he would tire easily but it would not stop him from proving that he was able to do more than just sit in a chair all day.

He looked up as Jace asked him how the accident happened. He thought for several moments as he moved his hands around the floor and kept his eyes peeled to it. “Mum and I were driving when I was ten years old, we were on a trip, you know I don't even remember where anymore, though as we were on our way Mum got tired and we crashed, it was really bad and the car was mangled, Mum died instantly and I was rushed to the hospital, the surgeries they preformed caused Da to choose to save my life not my legs, I lost the complete feeling during the many surgeries and became paralyzed,” he said. The voice was mournful and even stronger, it was possible for someone to find a hard time to understand what he was saying.

He pulled himself behind the couch Cameron was careful not place his hand under the couch but was still very adamant about finding that piece now that he was on the ground. He looked everywhere for it but even he was losing hope easily.

[fringe]

[ I'M WIDE AWAKE AFTER THE RIOT , THIS DEMONSTRATION OF OUR ANGUISH ]
this empty laughter has no - - reason like a bottle of your
( favorite poison )

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

What are you, stupid? For fucks sake Jace! The almost incoherent words that tumbled out of his mouth earlier were biting him in the butt. “The chair does not limit me you know,” Cameron said before sliding out of his chair onto the couch. Jace hadn't meant it like that, but reiterating the words, that is basically what he said. He was mentally cursing himself for being so insensitive. Already, the boy was lowering himself to the ground, in an attempt to help. I didn't-...it's not-...I can-...I shouldn't- More random word filtered out of his mouth but he finally shut up, unable to get a full sentence out. Somewhere along the line he said something that sounded like a 'sorry' so he hoped he got the message across, even though it was pretty jumbled. Cam did an army crawl across the floor in search of the rogue puzzle piece but like Jace didn't come up with much. Jace wasn't so concerned about the puzzle but more so relieved that the penetrating eyes were being used on the ground and not himself. Cam wisely didnt stick his hands under the couch, and didn't have to suffer through trying to discreetly wipe the unknown substance on the carpet.

Jace didn't like hearing Cam's story and regret even getting the courage to ask. Couldn't he keep his nose out of other peoples business. Apparently 'small talk' to Jace meant talking about the worst thing that ever happened to you. In truth, this wasn't his intent he was just curious, and he couldn't stand the thick silence so he asked whatever came to mind. There was something desirable about being able to talk freely about it though, and Jace couldn't help but wish he could speak like this; tell total strangers his story and not freak out. From that point onward Jace decided he liked Cam as a friend and hoped that throughout some of his stay at Lucid Manor, he would have someone to interact with. As far as Jace could see, Cam seemed pretty normal. Cam hadn't attacked Jace and wasn't a nervous wreck; his fingers didnt look stained and he was free from self inflicted injuries as far as he could see. Well, maybe that last one wasn't a good point because you couldn't seen any of Jace's cuts or chemical burns, even his hands looked pretty normal, besides the slight clubbing from broken fingers. This was because Jace made a point to hide them, for the purpose of not seeing. Either way, he felt more relaxed than before, almost safe. almost.

Maybe it's up on the couch? Like between the cushions. He mused mostly to himself. He stood up slowly, running his fingers through the cushion creases, but not finding anything. He sighed silently, feeling it was all a fruitless attempt when he felt over a misshapen cardboard piece of something. Jace pulled it out quickly discovering that it was in fact the lost fragment. Found it. He whispered quietly at first. I found it. Repeating the words a little louder this time so Cam could hear. He walked over to the coffee table counting the pieces plus the one in his hand. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8. His finger rearranged the pieces quickly, moving them back and forth between spots trying to finalize their positions. He glanced down realizing Cameron was still on the floor. Er...do you need help or s-something getting back in your chair Jace became uneasy again knowing that he probably wouldn't be of any help. His hand flinched forwards as he began picking at his fingernails, his face muscles tensing between and frown and a look of indifference.

"your say here!"

your thoughts here!

"someone else's say here!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

631 | number |
Skyscraper by Demi Lovato | music |
jess/open | tags |
Sorry it took so long to post xp | notes |
This | clothes|
murder city - green day | lyrics |
holly @ caution 2.o | credit |

[/color]

[Cameron Lain Gillespie]

The blue eyes shot over at Jace as he had tried apologizing. All Cameron wanted was to be treated like a normal person, not someone who had a very limiting problem. He wanted people to understand that even he can do things that normal people could do. When he thought of normal he thought of walkers, which had been his term for people who could walk. Cameron tried to quickly grab hold of himself but it was not working. That set him off easier than anything, things that referred to him as helpless.

As Jace tried to apologize and send random words toward Cameron he tried to shrug it off. He did not speak until he knew he could be calm which was a good while, at least several minutes of complete quietness. Finally, even though tense, words came out of his mouth. “Keep in mind, it's just a chair, it's limiting to me but I have upper body strength from the time I've been in it,” he said. It was obvious to most people how hard it was for him to try and keep the cool. The tensity of his voice most definitely showing itself. Cameron knew very clearly that any second if he did not gain control it could push him over the edge.

He went back to looking for the puzzle piece to draw his mind away from what was going on inside it. He heard Jace speak about the couch and the piece in the cushions. That was most definitely true. Cam easily shifted himself to a sitting position and propped himself by his hands to keep balance. He looked over at Jace as he heard that he'd found it and he looked up. There was no way he was able to get up and actually look over at the male on the other side of the couch so he just listened.

After a few moments of Cameron just sitting there Jace realized that Cam was still on the floor and asked if he needed any help. Cameron thought about it. “If you can bring my chair closer, I'm not sure if you'd be able to lift me up or not, so that's the safest choice,” he said. The tensity of his voice seemed much less than just moments before.

He wanted to know a little more about the male that was younger than him by just a few years. “So, if you were not here, where do you think you would be?” he asked. Sometimes small talk would calm him, and he was trying everything at the moment. The other male seemed so insecure about his situation so Cameron did not want to scare off what could be the only friend he could have in the place.

[fringe]

[ THIS FEELING NEVER LEAVES YOU ALONE , PULL THE TRIGGER ON YOUR OWN ]
you're hiding in your safe place - - hiding with your eyes shut tightly
( on the way to the hospital )

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The older boy seemed to shrug off the apology but after that there was a long baited silence. Cameron spoke up again but his voice was tensed, strained and trying to stay under control. Jace recoiled slightly hoping Cam wouldn't elevate this to yelling. He didn't like yelling because not only was it loud and obnoxious but normally led to being hit or beaten. Jace didn't even want to think about it because it brought back bad memories of the past. “Keep in mind, it's just a chair, it's limiting to me but I have upper body strength from the time I've been in it,” Once again Jace's mouth failed to do anything useful so he just nodded repeatedly. He wasn't sure if Cam saw this though because Jace wasn't looking at him. His gaze shifted to his feet, his fingers busy at work pealing his nails off. Being told all your life that you couldn't do things just because of your disability probably would get under anyone's skin and Cam really couldn't really hide his problem even if he tried. Jace would probably go nuts if he was confined to a wheelchair. Well, more nuts than he already was, if that was possible.

“If you can bring my chair closer, I'm not sure if you'd be able to lift me up or not, so that's the safest choice,”

To his relief, the voice had steadied and didn't seem so aggressive this time. Jace obeyed with a nod, his hands gripping around the wheelchair handles and rolling it over to him. It was easy to do the first part of what he was asking but the second part of the statement was a bit more difficult. I can't...I can't..sorry... He repeat over again, hopelessness threading through his vocals. It wasn't that he didn't want to help but he simply couldn't. He couldn't reach out, grab Cam's hand and pull him up. He wished he could but just couldn't. He didn't even know how to explain it. See the thing was, Jace was very adverse to touch. This was strictly humans, of course, and he wouldn't allow others to touch him and vice versa. It made him feel dirty, so unclean, which he despised the feeling of. He couldn't stand that he was so useless but was too afraid to break down his own boundaries. Instead of fumbling with his jacket pockets, trying to keep himself busy, he pushed the wheelchair a little closer, keeping it steady so Cameron could try to get back in.

“So, if you were not here, where do you think you would be?” Jace thought for a moment, debating whether he meant at this institution or just in a general. He had never really thought of it before because going back to normal life seemed to far away to even comprehend. I g-guess I would be at school or something? Probably have a job so I could pay for stuff. I haven't..I haven't thought about it before He said shyly. His thoughts had mainly focused on the immediate future at the Asylum, at the prospect of getting better. Being able to sleep through the night and not using a razor on himself ever again. How 'bout you? He wasnt sure if the older boy would get upset again but the words had already left his lips and were now un-retractable.

"your say here!"

your thoughts here!

"someone else's say here!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

563| number |
I am Fake by The Used | music |
jess/open | tags |
I got distracted halfway through D; So that's why the end is a little bit bad u.u| notes |
This | clothes|
hospital - the used | lyrics |
holly @ caution 2.o | credit |

[/color]

[Cameron Lain Gillespie]

Cameron looked at him as the chair came closer. Jace seemed like he need to apologize but Cam looked at him. “Calm down,” he said softly, “it's okay, I can get into the chair myself,” he said. He had eight years to practice getting in and out of that chair he knew he could get in and out of that chair like no tomorrow. He watched as the chair came closer and was held steady by the young er male. He placed his hand onto the arm of the chair and the other hand to the top of the couch and he pulled his body weight up and pushed into the chair with a quick turn. He smiled and had to readjust his legs only slightly. Slowly he lifted his right leg up and placed it down in his step, watching his moves carefully, he than grabbed his left leg and put it in place. He than reached under the chair and pulled a seat belt like thing for his upper legs. He buckled them with a plastic buckle, much like those snaps that are on dog collars.

Cameron listened carefully as the younger boy spoke about where he would be but hadn't thought much about it. Made sense, why would you want to dwell on it later. “I'd be back in Scotland, and if not in another asylum like I had been previously, than I would be at home with my da trying to get work, if not already having it, and living my life as normal as one can,” he told him, “I'd be an eeksie-peeksie,” he promised the younger boy but did not elaborate what an eeksie-peeksie. He looked down though I would not be against traveling a' the airts,” he told him. He still was not elaborating on his Scottish words and phrases, mainly because he was not realizing he was doing it.

~da = Dad
eeksie-peeksie = equal
a' the airts = all over the place

Sorry for the shortness, will be longer next time I promise. If you need me to modify it at all just pm me or something~